Message from a Mom (that's me)

Dear I'm-Not-Sure-If-I'm-Ready-To-Be-A-Mom,

Pardon my one-handed nursing/typing, it's all I've got these days.  

What's not to be terrified about? When I got pregnant with my first it was a big surprise.  And one that I didn't calmly accept.  There was so much grieving for my old life.  Passing from maiden to mother, life transitions.  This time around I felt grief for infringing on my relationship and my exclusive love for my daughter.

Change is fucking hard.  Profound responsibility is hard.

  Add my insane level of anxiety to the mix and it was even harder!  But here I am, in my underwear, in bed at 8:30, one kid asleep, one nursing and crying, alternately.  By morning I will be exhausted, but mostly just sick of sleeping in 1 hr spurts.  I might not want to get dressed.  I might cry.  

But I'll make it through another day.

And I'll make it through parenthood.

And I'll make mistakes and I'll be terrified.

And you will be too.  And you'll question each decision and each moment.

Great love involves great risk.  What really is the worst thing?  What is your biggest fear?

Not to be contrived, but I'll leave you with my favorite quote:

I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life— and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do. —Georgia O'Keeffe

Luck and love-- I am always here with brutal honesty if you have any questions.

-Hannah


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