Giving Up - with a side of beginning, as per usual
Oof. I am depressed today about being able to do way less of my work then I am used to doing. I have no more than 15 minutes to myself at a time. Sometimes less. I knew this was coming, but not how much it would pull the rug out from under me.
This baby is different than I expected. (I know, right, expectations, ha!) I know it is just a transition. But I seriously LOVE what I do for work. I adore helping clients, organizing peoples brains, giving them a glimpse of clarity.
I thrive on being creative, thinking and then actualizing my ideas. (I have a new one cooking).
What do you thrive on?
Not that I don't love being awake for more than half the night (what incredible thinking time, scheming time!), but I know I am looking at dialing back my private work time and integrating much more with family time. Two kids is no joke; A three year old and a baby that needs to be carried and walked all.the.time.
I love sleep. I love going to bed early and waking up late. I love naps. I love days where you get more than one nap. None of this remarkable sleep stuff really happens for me anymore. I look at teenagers on the street and the green eyes monster awakens in me. 12 hours plus! Joy!
But, my friends, that's not how it is meant to be for me, right now. Sleep and work, my two favorites; I must
So, what's the lesson here? What can I (what can you) learn when obligations shift? When things are different then our expectations.
Shit is gonna change. And that's that.
Breathe it in, ride the waves, roll with it. New kid? New house? New job? Death? Birth? Pain? Whatever it is, the answer is the same. Live it. Fighting it won't change it and it sure as hell won't make it prettier.
Here's what I am doing a lot of now: Making $$ off of how I spend my days. Today: CLOTH DIAPERS