Gas Leak


When I woke up this morning I found a note on the counter from Flor, who had left early in the morning to do some shopping in (Puerto) Vallarta.

"Good Morning Everyone!" It sang jovially.
"When I got up this morning to make hot water the burner on the stove was turned all the way open. So, the gas was on all night! Luckily we are just out of gas and not dead...So if anyone sees the gas truck, see if we can get a new tank."

There are three hidden Mexican secrets in this note, can you guess what they are?

1) "To make hot water." Since when does hot water have to be made? Where I am from, you turn on the tap to the left (or yes, sometimes the right, depending on the person in charge of installation, and their degree of dyslexia). It gets made somewhere, sure, but you don't have to get up in the morning to "make hot water." Seriously.

2) "
Luckily we are just out of gas and not dead." You see, there are some upsides of living in Mexico. If we were in a little teeny tiny enclosed NYC apartment, we could be dead of gas inhalation and asphyxiation. Something bad, surely. But here, in Mexico, the concrete house has wonderful ventilation. What a great way to say "No Privacy!" All the real estate agencies say "Wonderful Ventilation." But really they mean that there are no doors or windows. So no, we didn't die. But really, I mean, at least screens for the mosquitos!

and 3) "i
f anyone sees the gas truck." Doesn't one usually call for gas? Not here!!! The gas people don't have phones...and heck! neither do we! So you stand around on the street corner, waiting in hopes it will drive by. And in the case that it does...well then, you have to lead it to your house, because there are no freaking street names, let alone numbers! In case you are ever trying to find us, we live in the "casa azul, a lado de la tienda que se vende azulejos."

The blue house next to the store where they sell floor tiles.