Jeal-Anon--Cuz We're So Cool You Can't Stand It

If anyone wants to join, trust me, there are chapters opening up ALL over. Here's a crib sheet to start your own.

Because the woman who wrote this---well---we are all really jealous.

The Twelve Steps of Jeal-Anon

1} We admitted that we were naturally superior, and that everyone we knew was jealous of us.

2} We came to believe in our Greater Power.

3} We made a decision to put our wills and our lives first and foremost in all our affairs.

4} Made a searching and fearless list of our virtues and attributes.

5} Admitted to God, and to anyone willing to listen, the exact nature of our superiority.

6} Were entirely ready to have all of our friends acknowledge our superior attributes.

7} Proudly asked all of our friends to admire us.

8} Made a list of all persons who were jealous of us, and sent them all e-mails telling them we KNEW they were jealous.

9} Made direct accusations whenever e-mails alone didn't work.

10} Continued to take our personal inventories, and add up how much we were worth.

11} Sought through investment and acquisition to improve our standing in the community, purchasing only items guaranteed to make others Pea-Green with envy.

12} Having got it, we flaunted it.

Jeal-Anon mottoes:

Keep it Simple: I'm Perfect

Admit it- You Envy Me!

ps (apologies for my prolonged absence. I was, like, doing waay t0o many important and glamorous things to have time for blogging.