All tagged motherhood
Oof. I am depressed today about being able to do way less of my work then I am used to doing. I have no more than 15 minutes to myself at a time. Sometimes less. I knew this was coming, but not how much it would pull the rug out from under me.
Today was fine.
It was a regular day (guitar string bracelets, building websites, booking clients, wiping poopy bums, eating, doing laundry, paying bills, painting trim, going to pediatrician, vacuuming, taking the dogs out, selling cloth diapers online, taking pictures of my food, talking to my employees, yelling at my husband, scheduling email blasts, planning sales for holiday season) and it was fine.
Pardon my one-handed nursing/typing, it's all I've got these days.
What's not to be terrified about? When I got pregnant with my first it was a big surprise. And one that I didn't calmly accept. There was so much grieving for my old life.
It feels like an admission of guilt. "I used to write a lot of poetry."
I think it's a weakness. "I used to write a lot of poetry."
I am embarrassed to say: "I used to write a lot of poetry."
Build that foundation. Dance in the rain.
I came home from the hospital with my first baby, Camilla, I rested for a bit, then hopped right back into my type A shoes and rush forth for a busy three months of holiday shipping in the retail industry. See these pictures? The pack'n'play IN MY STUDIO. Permanent baby strapped to my chest. It worked. I was happy and I felt good. Still, I don't want to repeat it this time. I want slower time, I want down time, quiet time, bonding time. And it's up to me to carve that out.
They say addictive tendencies are passed down through families. Booze, smoking, drugs, pills, meth. Tomatoes? Do those count? Also passed along is the normal genetic crap – like hair color, eye color, breast size and weird toes, etc. And then there is nurture which molds and shapes us.
From my mother I've inherited a few things: