Things That Are Good, Neither or Really Shitty

Ladies and gentlemen (there are a select few of you, I hope).  This is it.  The introduction of my 

WEEKLY FEATURE.  

Once a week (on Fridays) I am going to be here, dishing the dish, full of links and critiques and my opinions – which Salt'n'Pepa taught me "...are like assholes and everybody's got one." (Side note, if you haven't listened to this this year, you should.)

So, THIS week's roundup:

• This wall color.  I sweat the bravery, I sweat the color, I do not envy hanging art on it.  Ps. No one looks that good while painting (new thing to live up to.)

• So since we are already talking about people looking awesome...I want to tell you how stinking awesome I look in this sweater.  Seriously.  I bought it in all three colors.  I am old.  It is official.  But I am happy.  So suck it. 

• More on pretties:  Rings cast from sand. Stackable.  Unique.  Going on my MUST have list.

• On the SHITTY list.  This terrible article about the grossest stuff you'll ever hear about. Seriously, if you want to quit, just quit.  If you want to smoke, just smoke.  Yuck to chemical poison.

• If you do care about your body and you are ready for a spring (god, I hope) cleanse. The click here because this is the one you want.  The recipes OMG they make me want to cook!  

• Loving THIS song.  Rosie Thomas. There is a reason it is on the "Sad Songs Channel" but seriously, major prettiness. 

That is, officially, all that is important in the world today.  Well, except for THIS granola I make weekly to feed my family.  Oh, and THIS calzone.  And THESE pork chops.

Happy Weekend.  I'm out

A Little Bird Told Me to Blog About Granola

Granola is food.  As far as I am concerned anything with proteins and carbs that is EASY to eat in many different ways is PERFECT. 

It also makes me feel all glowey inside when I make a big batch of ANYTHING.  Like I've turned into some kind of survivalist.

So here is what you can do to feel like a glowing bass-ass survivalist:

In one bowl :

• Three cups of grains (I use mostly rolled oats and a bit of uncooked quinoa).
• One to one and a half cups of nuts. I find a combo of pecans and almonds pretty dope as long as I chop them up super fine.  
• One teaspoon of salt - I like bigger crystals so it crunches.
• One to two cups of seeds (I favor raw pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds).
• One cup of shredded coconut.  Yum.
• Two teaspoons of spices.  I am currently using cinnamon and ginger and nutmeg.  Explore!  

Mix these all up together.  Then add,

• 1/4 - 1/2 cup of oil (olive or canola works well)
• 1/2 - 3/4 cup of sweetener (I use maple syrup)
• Optional - One egg white, whisked until foamy before adding. This makes those clusters that I love.

Mix it all up – spread on a parchment paper covered cookie sheet (for easy clean up) – bake at 300 degrees for 45 minutes (stir mid way if you don't want clumps).  

It will NOT be hard when you pull it out of the oven.  It hardens as it cools.  Let it cool all the way.  Then add some chopped up dried fruits.  About of cup of cranberries, chopped figs and raisins does the trick quite well.

I double the batch and share some with this chick.

So Lost the Damn Smoothie Blog Post and Then I Lost My Shit.

I suppose there are people in the world who go to sleep at night and then wake up the next morning.  That hasn't happened for me in over three years.  I was up last night (googling smoothie recipes with almond milk frozen in ice cube trays) and thinking about what this might do to my brain, this lack of sleep. 

So I got up.  And I wrote a WHOLE LONG BLOG POST about my favorite smoothies, with tips and techniques and tricks and it was so clear and awesome and then I hit the FUCKING DELETE button like an idiot. 

So, in former days I might do something like throw my computer.  But these days a I am a whole lot more in tune to the fact that the universe is whispering to me: Girl, get the eff of the computer and go live your life.   So I walked away and took some time away and come back to you now with two DOPE smoothie recipes that I have perfected in the times spent living my life OFF the computer.

Bomb Ass Not-So-Fruity Smoothie

This one will fill you up.  I swear by it when I won't get to eat for an hour (yes, I eat almost every hour.)  Also, my daughter loves it, she says it is "better than the blue one." 

1. Throw coconut flakes in any milk (almond, cow, soy). I just put it in the bottom of the blender. Add a bit of vanilla or almond extract and some cinnamon.  Then, let it sit for a bit.  I sue this time to unload the dishwasher, wipe some surfaces, make cereal for my daughter or something like that.  Efficiency, folks!
2. Then I add two whole frozen bananas (I freeze mine quartered, cut once the long way and once the short way) .  Then a heaping tablespoon of peanut butter and a bunch of plain greek yogurt.  Then a few cubes of ice and blend away!
3. Yum. 

Crunchy Fruit Smoothie

This is a pretty basic milk and fruit based smoothie.  But I decided to include it because it is a fun baseline to work with and has a couple of sweet tricks.  I think I have talked quite a bit about being a fruit hoarder, so this means I always have an ample supply of frozen fruits and as everyone knows, frozen fruit an awesome smoothie doth make.

1. Start with any milk in the bottom of a blender.  I know, I know, I am getting repetitive here, I obviously like this step.  Throw in some chia seeds (google if you don't know of what I speak).  I also like coconut flakes in here...but I just like coconut in general in the summer as it reminds me of the tropics and sunscreen.
2. Add a lot of frozen blueberries and peaches (mine I never have long enough to freeze) and greek yogurt (for protein, ya'll) and blend.  Some people choose to use a sweetener in this, depending on their fruits - If I do use something I use a spoonful of some kind of corn syrup free jelly or jam from the fridge.  Honey or agave are also fine, clearly, but I don't like agave and having a little kid has gotten me off honey.  I really like to put fresh raspberries or blackberries in this one too as it is one that makes a virtue of the drink that you must chew.

So, go make some smoothies and report back. 

 *it is fun to make jars of frozen fruit mixes and leave in your freezer.  Then dump them in to your blender in the AM and add right back to the same jar.  PRETTY THINGS!