I Give You Permission

Standing in the mall, in the stupid mall, hands sweating, blood rushing.  "I just can't," I thought.  

 I am pretty sure that this sometimes happens to you too, maybe not in the mall, but somewhere, you crash.

 I have a recommendation for you on those days.  And I am trying to listen to it for myself as well.  

Don't push so hard. Give yourself permission.

Why is this so hard to be okay with? Why can't I just step back and breathe?  Why can't I take my own advice?  Well, it's because I so often equate my own sense of self worth with what I can accomplish.  I know this to be a pitfall for very many self-employed and very driven people.  And the solution is two-fold:  1) PRIDE and 2) PRACTICE.

We are raised and rewarded in a society that gives feedback for effort.   Most of us have never heard "great job taking care of yourself today."  Rather we get gold stars and A's in school and praise from bosses or co-workers for a job well done.  So what happens when you are the boss?  Who gives you that feedback you were so acclimatized to?  Who decides how much homework is too much?  Who decides when you are pushing too hard?

There are so many benefits to being self-employed. But one of the biggest drawbacks is the LACK of feedback and the sense of unending RESPONSIBILITY to be driven. 

I practice my own two-fold solution: 

1.  PRIDE- I will take a deep breath and have pride in what I do, overall.  I will take another deep breath and pat myself on the back and realize, every moment doesn't have to be 100% for me to be doing a good job.  I will walk out of the mall.
2. PRACTICE- I will practice not pushing so hard.  I will breath and practice being and breath again and practice again.   One foot in front of the other.