Mama, Your Kids Need A Break From You

Dear Guilt-Ridden-Mama-Who-Loves-Her-Kids-And-Also-Puts-Them-In-Childcare:

It's okay. Your kids need a break from you too. They need to hear other people's thoughts, other people's wisdom, even, other people's criticisms.

They need to be able to cope with you walking out the door.  They need to learn to trust you'll be back and to trust themselves knowing they'll be okay, even without you.

You need to learn that they will still love you best; even when you are not with them every moment.

You are their mama.  And you always will be.

But please, mama, don't hold that sweet girl back; Don’t keep the joy of that baby boy all to yourself.  Pass those kids around; spread the love.  Help them learn about community and compassion and helping one another and helping themselves.

There will be plenty of times that they fall and you'll be there to pick them back up.  But sometimes, they'll need to learn to find comfort in someone else’s arms.  

Help them learn how.

Teach them by stepping back. 

Let them go.  

Just a little bit.  

Give them space.  

They are not your belongings. 

Sweet mama, letting go is the hardest thing you will ever learn to do. It will break your heart and you will be alone, again and again.  

Arms empty. Womb empty.  House empty.

There is no way around it, no way to avoid it, no way to delay it.  Sweet mama, don't cling to that baby just because you’re afraid of the day they’ll be gone.

Be brave and give your child room to grow.  Continue to grow yourself.  You are not a hero because you haven't had time to shower.  You are a hero because you trusted your bond with your child enough to hand them over to someone else and go take that shower.

You don't have to put yourself last to be the best mother there is.  The best way to support someone is to be beside them and a little behind.  Let them go, let them fall; let someone else be there to catch them.  

You can't watch every moment of their lives.  You can't keep them safe.  You can't even keep death away.  Yes, sweet mama, it is terrifying. It is can’t-get-up-in-the-morning earth shattering.  I know.  I'm scared too.

Breathe in, breathe out and let go. Your children are not yours to keep – and you are but one of their teachers. (Click to Tweet)

Allow them many good teachers.  Open the doors to your home and the doors to your heart so that your children do the same.  Not everyone who comes in will be good, yet this too is one of your lessons to teach.

Sweet mama, each moment IS precious. but please don’t claim them all.  Let your baby go out and explore.  I can’t promise you it’s safe, I can’t promise you it won’t hurt, but I can promise you this: It’s worth it.

“Your children are not your children, they are the sons and the daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but they are not from you and though they are with you they belong not to you.”

— Kahil Gibran

Hannah Weishart Garrison is a terrified mother of two who reads all about the mama heroes (heck, she can even read her own text messages) about how each moment is precious and SHIT it all goes so fast she doesn’t want to GIVE UP any moments.  God, she wants them ALL TO HERSELF.  She business coaches here and is working on launching this.