New Moon Intentions – Proclaim that shit.

Set it and don't forget it.  (Your intentions for the month.)

You can't come running to me and tell me you didn't get what you wanted if you don't PICK and CHOOSE.

Go ahead,  identify THREE THINGS (points for listing them below) that you want to do this month. 

Don't know? Maybe you need to book a session and deal with your priorities.

With love and a kick in the pants,

Hannah

It Is Worth It: So Many Things About Sadness

It is worth writing about sadness.

I am not very good at sadness.  I'm not skilled at it.  

• I can ignore it so fully that I truly that I don't know it is there.
• I can sense it and turn away, rush forward, DO something, instead of just being with it.
• I can suppress it so long that it becomes something else.

Mostly it's the fear that manifests.

But so it is with most things.  It is our feeling of fear that bubbles up.  That manifests. That reminds us, it's not all okay.

She comes to some in night times.

Me, she visits on hot, beautiful, clear sparkly days.

• Whispering to my friend that she couldn't nurse her baby.
• Whispering to my grandmother about her own death.
• Whispering to me about tomorrow.

What does fear whisper to you? (Click to Tweet)

But peeling. Ever deeper.  Reaching below the fear to scratch and sniff and see, what's there?

This fear, it reminds me:

Hello, sadness on beautiful days.  

And shoulds.  

Oh the shoulds.

I Could Write Like Her If

If my phone would stop fucking ringing.

If my kids stopped needing to eat.

If every time I opened my computer the dog didn't have to take a shit.

If I could just commit.

If my mother wasn't already a writer.

If my father wasn't already a writer.

If my mother didn't hate poetry.

If my best friend didn't have a book deal.

If the laundry would fold itself. 

If there was no such thing as Facebook.  Or Twitter.  Or the whole fucking internet.

If I knew someone was reading.

If I didn't have to make a living. 

If I there was a better word than "blog."

If everything wasn't about content.

If I didn't care what you thought.

If I stopped trying so hard.  

If I just gave in.

If I could focus harder. 

If I could smile more.

If I gave a shit. 

If books were real things that you carried around with a cover that no one swapped out for marketing purposes and you, reader, dog eared the pages.  And wrote your name in it.  And lent it to your friend, by mailing it to her, halfway across the country, because it mattered.  That much.

I would write for you then.

Why Mothering Permits Me To Be Only a Pseudo Intellectual

When I have time to read a book, I read a shitty one.  One that doesn't utilize any of my (former?) intellectual prowess.  In my down time my brain turns into a big stinking pile of mush.  

I have two kids and it is wonderful and mind-numbing and inspiring and brutal.

I miss my life.  I miss by brain.  I miss my husband. I miss my work.  Yes.  I still get to all of those things.  But, god, remember when you could stay up all night and work on something?  I can't.  If I do (and I have) my next day(s) are brutal.  It is just not worth it and OH man I am sad about that.  I covet you - you stay-up-all-night-and-create-amazing-works-of-art people.

There.  There I am.  That complaining mom.  Who only has lots of little slivers and no BIG chunk.  I am spread thin.  And I am complaining and YET.  AND YET.  I chose this.  And, you know what?  I choose it again, day after day.  I am not willing to give up anything that I love, even if it means I am spread thin.  

I know you've heard this before, but we only live once.  Motherfucker, even this moment is close to over.  So if there is something you want, TAKE IT.  Maybe you can drown in it and roll around in it and languish in it.  But stick your toe in.  Half-ass it if you must. Keep trying. 

So, I Want To Talk About The Word COACH

To make things simple, there is therapy, there is consulting and there is coaching.  I want to talk a bit about the differences.  And yes, and yes, I am OVER-SIMPLIFYING.  For sure. I am over-simplifying.  So don't get pissed.  I am OVER-FUCKING-SIMPLIFYING.

Therapy:  Comes from the perspective of there being something WRONG with you.  There is something within you that you are trying to address, trying to fix.  There is a LACK.  Furthermore, your therapist is NOT YOUR FRIEND.  You will never be friends.  You will never know much about them.  One way street.  Your issues, their solutions.  (Don't get your panties in a bunch, I know it is not that simple).  But you are broken, in some way and this professional is there to fix you.  I am NOT a therapist, got it?

Consulting.  So a consultant is a know-it-all.  With regard to what they are consulting about, they are a specialist.  They know and you don't and they will SCHOOL your ass about this particular thing (that's not you).  What I provide involves some consulting.  I am very knowledgeable about certain things.  If and when we come across those things I will say something like, "I am going to put my consulting hat on now."  I say that so you'll know I am about to get realllllly bossy.

Coaching.  I used to HATE the word coaching with a passion.  It sounded too wishy-washy.  I didn't understand that it was a QUALIFIABLE skill set.  There were too many people calling themselves coaches without any training or method.  I was angry to be a part of this pot.  But, that was my SHIT to deal with.  And dealt with it I did.  So now, I am here to tell you that as a coach I am beside and a little behind you.  I have a learned, practiced and certified skill set.  I have a lot of different tools I use to help you 1) CLARIFY where you are going and 2) HELP you get there.  As a coach I believe you are whole person.  I believe that you have strengths and weaknesses and shit to sift through and sort out.  I create a SAFE space for you to process and move through change.  I become your friend in the process.  I will share myself with you as it comes up.  I know that sometimes magic happens when you are not working on something alone.  

I am in cahoots with you; your partner in crime.  I've got your back.  You aren't alone.

And I've worked with coaches before and I've worked with therapist before and I've worked with consultants before.  And they look different and it FEELS different and it IS different. And each have an amazing place in the world of helpers.  Coaching is the place that is mine. It is the place where I land again and again.  The place where I listen.  The place where I create space for your dreams to twist and turn and become reality. The place where I use my skills AND my intuition.  A place where the questions and answers move you out of the swirling blender and into forward motion.  

Now more than ever I believe in coaches.  I believe that we will succeed if we are doing the work we are meant to do.  The world will be better for it.  We need people who truly love something to be doing that something.  I'll meet you in

The safe space where dreams brew. (Click to Tweet

To The Space Between Projects: I Currently Hate You.

Hate's strong.  I use it when I am fearful.  I've noticed others do too.  When we are maxed out uncomfortable and pushed to our edges, there is hate.  When there is resistance (for whatever the reason) to incorporate something into our life stories, there is hate.  It's reactionary.  It is born of fear. 

I've talked a lot about finishing stuff recently.  Like, BEFORE I take on new shit.  Radical, isn't it?  (Yes, that's rhetorical, somewhat).  

I am a push-forward-always-driven-isn't-she-manic-but-ohsotogether type of person.  

So being without something on the horizon is TERRIFYING. And when I say that I really mean it.  I mean the kind of heart in your chest and fight or flight fear. How's that for radical honesty?  

So right now I have given myself a task that brings up hate and fear.  Oh my.  Biting off a lot.  

So I sit here with the clean slate, the tabula rasa. 

So I sit here with the feelings that arise. 

So I sit here, in between. 

I Am Getting Discouraged, Can You Relate?

I am discouraged today.  Can you relate?  

There is not enough time in the day and I am working so damn hard.  I am juggling.  I am fighting the good fight. 

I even asked for help and said "no" more.  That's what I'm meant to do right?  

We all get discouraged. But, the thing is, it DOESN'T mean that we are doing something wrong.

Can you see my ass?  You mother fucking cannot, because I have worked it off.  

Between being a landlord, being a mother, running Wear Your Music, paying my household bills, being a friend, doing wifely things, being present for my clients, marketing myself, blogging, taking classes, trying to eat cook and eat good food, texting with my bffs, scheduling everyone, and sleeping...well, I am empty and discouraged and rat raced.  The rat is fucking winning folks.  But only today.

Tomorrow, I promise to:

• Take a deep breath before my eyes open.
• Say thank you to the universe for a brand new day.
• Count my blessings, out loud, to my kids.
• Kiss my husband more than once.
• Realize I am winning.  No matter how discouraged I feel.

#theratracewinsnomore

March. This Month is for Finishing Things

This the the month that comes RIGHT before new beginnings.  It's like every muscle in your body is ready for that fresh start and you are so coiled and pent up and ready, lusting, ready lusting. 

We are not there yet, folks.  

There are ends to tie up before we unfurl and start those raised beds in the yard.  (I can't stop thinking about buying seeds orstarting them though).

My windows are open sometimes to let the air and the light in.  To start to move the blood around, to begin to stir the winter cobwebs. The earliest signs of spring are emerging all around us (a game my daughter and I play each seasonal shift is to spot these changes).

But, yet, it is not quite time to transition. 

About that unfinished business... What's yours? (Click to Tweet).

So, I hunker down and before spring comes I write a March list. I call it:  "I Still Have To"

I Still Have To:

• Make one more soup that requires my care, attention and stirring.  That nourishes me deeply, like only soup in winter can.
• Sit in front of my friend's fireplace and listen to it crackle and have to move away because my skin feels taught with the heat of it.
• Bring out the shoe polish and the wax to clean and buff my many pairs of brown boots. Taking care.
• Finish my taxes and write the checks and move the files to the basement. 
• Sew the batting down on the quilt I began when I was in early labor with my son and it was August.

Only then can I step, wholly, into the transition of spring.  I want to emerge.  But before I move on, there's some completion to be done.

Go, finish what you started before beginning anew.

Organization - 2 Things to Do TODAY to Start Your Week Off Right

I've moved both my home and my business in the past three months. Which is to say:  the shit of seven people is taking over my life. 

And yet, I THRIVE.  One of the main reasons is my penchant for the organized. I love to reach for something and have it be there.

I mean this is big ways (reaching for support, having it be there) and I mean this in simple ways (reaching for a paperclip, having it be there).  

When I can't find something or I have to struggle it makes my life HARD. 

I want to thrive.  I want flow.  I want ease.  

Some shit in life is just HARD.  So to allow those hard things their space, I need my space to be easy.  Hence, organization. 

Find those little places to leave the struggle behind. (Click to Tweet)

Here are two easy things you can bring into your life, starting today, that will create space, ease, and flow (things that everyone wants more of):

1. Clean off your computer's desktop and only keep open the browser taps you are currently working on.   Have you tried to read 5 books at once?  It is too confusing.  Be kind to your brain.   When you are working on your computer, don't allow clutter to accumulate.  A clean desktop means a better workflow and less distractions.  Start today.  Sure, ten thousand tabs might have gotten opened, but you can just as easily close them.  If the stuff is that important, you'll find it again, I promise.  Go forth, close tabs, clean desktops, be happy.
2. It's Monday ya'll.  Where's your weekly to do list? Spend some time at the beginning or end of each week plotting what's ahead.  If you get all down on paper then it won't be floating around in your head trying to not be forgotten.  Find a system that works for you.  But WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN.  I don't know one truly successful person who keeps it all in their head.  Get your goals clear. 

Mama, Your Kids Need A Break From You

Dear Guilt-Ridden-Mama-Who-Loves-Her-Kids-And-Also-Puts-Them-In-Childcare:

It's okay. Your kids need a break from you too. They need to hear other people's thoughts, other people's wisdom, even, other people's criticisms.

They need to be able to cope with you walking out the door.  They need to learn to trust you'll be back and to trust themselves knowing they'll be okay, even without you.

You need to learn that they will still love you best; even when you are not with them every moment.

You are their mama.  And you always will be.

But please, mama, don't hold that sweet girl back; Don’t keep the joy of that baby boy all to yourself.  Pass those kids around; spread the love.  Help them learn about community and compassion and helping one another and helping themselves.

There will be plenty of times that they fall and you'll be there to pick them back up.  But sometimes, they'll need to learn to find comfort in someone else’s arms.  

Help them learn how.

Teach them by stepping back. 

Let them go.  

Just a little bit.  

Give them space.  

They are not your belongings. 

Sweet mama, letting go is the hardest thing you will ever learn to do. It will break your heart and you will be alone, again and again.  

Arms empty. Womb empty.  House empty.

There is no way around it, no way to avoid it, no way to delay it.  Sweet mama, don't cling to that baby just because you’re afraid of the day they’ll be gone.

Be brave and give your child room to grow.  Continue to grow yourself.  You are not a hero because you haven't had time to shower.  You are a hero because you trusted your bond with your child enough to hand them over to someone else and go take that shower.

You don't have to put yourself last to be the best mother there is.  The best way to support someone is to be beside them and a little behind.  Let them go, let them fall; let someone else be there to catch them.  

You can't watch every moment of their lives.  You can't keep them safe.  You can't even keep death away.  Yes, sweet mama, it is terrifying. It is can’t-get-up-in-the-morning earth shattering.  I know.  I'm scared too.

Breathe in, breathe out and let go. Your children are not yours to keep – and you are but one of their teachers. (Click to Tweet)

Allow them many good teachers.  Open the doors to your home and the doors to your heart so that your children do the same.  Not everyone who comes in will be good, yet this too is one of your lessons to teach.

Sweet mama, each moment IS precious. but please don’t claim them all.  Let your baby go out and explore.  I can’t promise you it’s safe, I can’t promise you it won’t hurt, but I can promise you this: It’s worth it.

“Your children are not your children, they are the sons and the daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but they are not from you and though they are with you they belong not to you.”

— Kahil Gibran

Hannah Weishart Garrison is a terrified mother of two who reads all about the mama heroes (heck, she can even read her own text messages) about how each moment is precious and SHIT it all goes so fast she doesn’t want to GIVE UP any moments.  God, she wants them ALL TO HERSELF.  She business coaches here and is working on launching this.