He/She Said (I Did)
He said my tits were too saggy. (I took off my shirt, looked in the mirror and cried).
I became more beautiful.
She said I would never make enough money. ( I sat up tall and wrote a business plan, and then another).
I became more wealthy.
She said he was too good for the likes of me. (I married him eight years ago and built our life together).
I became love.
He said I would never be able to have children. (I walked away slowly, exhausted by lonely).
I became pregnant, twice.
And I say (I speak this to you, for me):
Believe in truth.
Have deep belief in truth and righteousness and you will #becomegreatness.
she said I love you mama.
he said you've built and amazing company.
he said there need to be more people doing what you are doing.
she said within 20 minutes I was calm and present.
she said you maintain it with all that life throws at you.
she said this is made for you
she said well, you make a rad pancake
she said you are the best at monies!
she said your bomb-ass post just made me lol
she said this is complete and total love.
she said Hannah, just amazing.
she said you are complete and total love.
she said this is so healing
she said just wow.
she said you are wildly creative and I love this
she said beautiful
I Feel Like An Adult
So I have said a few times recently that for me, this year (32) is a year of brand new things. I am aware of beginnings. (Did I say that? Or did I just think it?)
It's the first time I've had a coffee maker in my office.
Well, wait, it is the first time I have had an office outside of my home.
I've also made my first friend as an adult. And this is weird right? Most people have friends, I think. But if you work for yourself as much as I have and then have kids, you don't really have a lot of meeting people time.
Since moving back to Providence I feel like so many doors are opening for me. And in really healthy ways.
I feel very fulfilled. My kids are thriving (despite the long winter), my stress level is low (despite the craziness that is life due to moving my home and my business), my husband has lots of work and is happy (despite the fact that his desk is in the currently unheated basement), and lost importantly, I have a friend. Who lives down the street and has kids just my kids' ages. So, like, we have everything in common (ish).
But you know what the best part is?
Not feeling so incredibly alone. And to me that equals BEING HEARD.
Incredibly simple, yet incredibly empowering.
So, I am going to add another word to this years word list: Community.
It is not always what/who you think.
We need each other, people.
Because when it is 8PM and I am already in bed, but stuffing chocolates into my mouth, it is far better to know that she is doing it too.
See? Check out slide 4:
March. This Month is for Finishing Things
This the the month that comes RIGHT before new beginnings. It's like every muscle in your body is ready for that fresh start and you are so coiled and pent up and ready, lusting, ready lusting.
We are not there yet, folks.
There are ends to tie up before we unfurl and start those raised beds in the yard. (I can't stop thinking about buying seeds orstarting them though).
My windows are open sometimes to let the air and the light in. To start to move the blood around, to begin to stir the winter cobwebs. The earliest signs of spring are emerging all around us (a game my daughter and I play each seasonal shift is to spot these changes).
But, yet, it is not quite time to transition.
About that unfinished business... What's yours? (Click to Tweet).
So, I hunker down and before spring comes I write a March list. I call it: "I Still Have To"
I Still Have To:
- Make one more soup that requires my care, attention and stirring. That nourishes me deeply, like only soup in winter can.
- Sit in front of my friend's fireplace and listen to it crackle and have to move away because my skin feels taught with the heat of it.
- Bring out the shoe polish and the wax to clean and buff my many pairs of brown boots. Taking care.
- Finish my taxes and write the checks and move the files to the basement.
- Sew the batting down on the quilt I began when I was in early labor with my son and it was August.
Only then can I step, wholly, into the transition of spring. I want to emerge. But before I move on, there's some completion to be done.
Go, finish what you started before beginning anew.
Mama, Your Kids Need A Break From You
Dear Guilt-Ridden-Mama-Who-Loves-Her-Kids-And-Also-Puts-Them-In-Childcare:
It's okay. Your kids need a break from you too. They need to hear other people's thoughts, other people's wisdom, even, other people's criticisms.
They need to be able to cope with you walking out the door. They need to learn to trust you'll be back and to trust themselves knowing they'll be okay, even without you.
You need to learn that they will still love you best; even when you are not with them every moment.
You are their mama. And you always will be.
But please, mama, don't hold that sweet girl back; Don’t keep the joy of that baby boy all to yourself. Pass those kids around; spread the love. Help them learn about community and compassion and helping one another and helping themselves.
There will be plenty of times that they fall and you'll be there to pick them back up. But sometimes, they'll need to learn to find comfort in someone else’s arms.
Help them learn how.
Teach them by stepping back.
Let them go.
Just a little bit.
Give them space.
They are not your belongings.
Sweet mama, letting go is the hardest thing you will ever learn to do. It will break your heart and you will be alone, again and again.
Arms empty. Womb empty. House empty.
There is no way around it, no way to avoid it, no way to delay it. Sweet mama, don't cling to that baby just because you’re afraid of the day they’ll be gone.
Be brave and give your child room to grow. Continue to grow yourself. You are not a hero because you haven't had time to shower. You are a hero because you trusted your bond with your child enough to hand them over to someone else and go take that shower.
You don't have to put yourself last to be the best mother there is. The best way to support someone is to be beside them and a little behind. Let them go, let them fall; let someone else be there to catch them.
You can't watch every moment of their lives. You can't keep them safe. You can't even keep death away. Yes, sweet mama, it is terrifying. It is can’t-get-up-in-the-morning earth shattering. I know. I'm scared too.
Breathe in, breathe out and let go. Your children are not yours to keep – and you are but one of their teachers. (Click to Tweet)
Allow them many good teachers. Open the doors to your home and the doors to your heart so that your children do the same. Not everyone who comes in will be good, yet this too is one of your lessons to teach.
Sweet mama, each moment IS precious. but please don’t claim them all. Let your baby go out and explore. I can’t promise you it’s safe, I can’t promise you it won’t hurt, but I can promise you this: It’s worth it.
“Your children are not your children, they are the sons and the daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but they are not from you and though they are with you they belong not to you.”
— Kahil Gibran
Hannah Weishart Garrison is a terrified mother of two who reads all about the mama heroes (heck, she can even read her own text messages) about how each moment is precious and SHIT it all goes so fast she doesn’t want to GIVE UP any moments. God, she wants them ALL TO HERSELF. She business coaches here and is working on launching this.
A Maker and In Business: The Invocation of Balance.
Someone said the words to me last night: "You have to be a maker too."
At the beginning of things (things being this haphazard and awesome world I call my career/life) I was a MAKER.
I worked with my hands and in my brain, but with that part of my brain that wasn't linear. I used that part of my brain that was spinning and on fire. That passionate and creative spark. I've still got it. But it is a bit more buried these days.
You've gotta coax creativity sometimes. (Click to Tweet)
I love business. I love running a business and managing a business and all of those things involving numbers and goals and planning and marketing and making things for business BETTER. Seriously, ask my clients,
I THRIVE on this shit.
Need to help clarify your goals? Make a marketing plan? Get some debt paid off? Make more money? I am your woman. Running my businesses and coaching others to run theirs more effectively is who I am. I'd jump for joy at the opportunity to help you.
But. But. But. But. But.
It is NOT ENOUGH.
I must make as well. I must tap into that fluid place where color folds onto itself and shapes come into being. And so must begin,
the invocation of balance.
You should spend some time today thinking about how to find yours.
Confidence:: Seize It. Be It.
Lift your head up, woman. Look at me in the eyes. This is for you.
Yes, you heard me. I am speaking to you.
You are beautiful and strong. Right now. Has anyone told you this today?
Have you said those words to yourself, even at your weakest moment?
Look at your own worth. Write down your accomplishments. Celebrate yourself. And not in some pretentious way. Make it count. Create value.
There is no shame in this skin of mine. There is no shame in yours. Yes, we have emotions. Yes, we are not perfect. Yes, there is envy. Yes, I compare myself to you. Yes, I am not always my best. Yes, neither are you.
It doesn't matter. At the depths of it all, you know your truth. And the truth is, you and I both, we are really, really epic.
This is what I want to tell you:
You are captivating.
You are brilliant and talented.
You've done so much, it is magical. You glow with the weight of it.
Without you, I wouldn't have much to strive for.
When You Just Don't Wanna:: Tips On How To Start, or not.
Stop procrastinating (Hannah), your desk doesn't have to be clean first.
It doesn't have to be quiet.
You don't need it to be perfect.
There is something called a beginning. There is something called good enough.
When you or I wrestle with beginning something, or continuing something, or just picking up the damn toys off the floor we meet one of our biggest teachers. That teacher is RESISTANCE. It says:
I don't want to get up.
I don't want to make dinner.
I don't want to do this job.
I don't want to clean up my toys.
I don't want to pay my bills.
I don't wanna!
We all say it, in one way or another (it doesn't have to be with words). Dads say it. Executives say it. Even yogis say it. My dog says it. The weather says it.
Got a case of the "I don't wanna's" ? Here is a quick guide to meeting that feeling and moving on:
- admit your resistance: Well, hello again resistance to making supper. Fancy meeting you here at suppertime.
- weigh reality: Do I really have to make supper tonight, or is there another, better option?
- reframe it: Instead of hating on the making, love on the action of nourishing your body.
- make it sweeter: While I do this, I'll listen to my new favorite song.
- reward yourself: When I am done, there will be chocolate.
- breathe: Inhale, exhale, repeat.
My First Post of the New Year
2014.
I wanted this post to be brave. I wanted it to represent all that I am. I wanted it to be witty and tearful and profound and shocking and wholeheartedly authentic.
I want to start out on the right foot. (Which one is that?)
I want, I want, I want, I want. Me. Me. Me. Me.
That's not the truth this year.
~~~The truth is that this year is about YOU~~~
- It's about what you think of when your eyes open in the morning.
- It's about who you serve.
- It's about how you help.
- It's about what good you do.
- It's about how you make this world kinder, more real and more worthy.
It's about YOU. Be kind to yourself. (Click to Tweet).
Hello, 2014. Hello, you. Breathe.
Just This Shelf.
There is a space, somewhere.
It waits for you.
It might be hidden by single socks, snow melt, crinkled wrapping paper, old water glasses. But underneath that all
It waits for you.
There are a few places it is not. It is not at your friend's house (hello, envy). It is not at the end of a long day of cleaning (hello, avoidance).
It is in the middle of your messes, it is at the top of your list. It is yours alone. Without reason, without perfection. Without perfection. Without perfection.
Carve it. Right now. Make yourself space. Make yourself space. GIFT yourself this space. It frees your brain. It frees your brain. Make yourself space. (Click HERE to Tweet).
This is our second skin.
This outside that reflects our in. Maybe not everyday. Maybe not always. Maybe not the mess in the sink. Maybe not the unfolded laundry. But somewhere, there is a space. It's not on Pinterest. It is not tomorrow. It won't wait till the New Year. It won't wait at all. It is there right now. All along. Clear the debris.
Claim it.
Where is yours?
Blurred Lines. Clear Vision.
So a few weeks ago we had this great birthday and housewarming party. I like this new house for gatherings. I am very sorry you weren't invited – I am not all that great at planning events. (Confession to yet another thing I am not great at!)
Ever since then I can't stop thinking about the lines of relationships and honesty and exposure. (Click HEREto Tweet)
I know this:
I don't take friends on as clients.
But some of my clients do become my friends. Is this okay? Is it okay for them? Is it okay for me? Does it jeopardize our professional relationship? How honest can I be in our friendship, really? It's frustrating sometimes that this job doesn't come with any
hard and fast rules.
If fact, I am blurring the lines daily it feels. But what lines are these and who made them?
I asked my mother and she said just posting to this blog is over-sharing. Is it? And?
We do like over-sharing these days, don't we? A part of it helps people. And that's enough for me.