Waiting
With my first pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes. Despite no indicators for it in my medical history, I failed all the tests and ended up eating a very strict diet and taking my blood 4 times per day for just under half of my pregnancy. Luckily, my daughter was fine, and I had no residual complications...
“Waiting is the hardest part...You take it on faith, you take it to the heart.”
With my first pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes. Despite no indicators for it in my medical history, I failed all the tests and ended up eating a very strict diet and taking my blood 4 times per day for just under half of my pregnancy. Luckily, my daughter was fine, and I had no residual complications.
Well, I am pregnant again. And the chances of having gestational diabetes in a subsequent pregnancy is high, something like 85%. So, this time around I've had to test for it twice. And I've had to wait for the results, twice. Man, waiting is uncomfortable for me. My last test was yesterday and I waited all day today for my doctor to call. I want to define what I felt when I say "waiting." I certainly didn't sit by the phone (the phone sat by me though). I kept busy (not too hard with a toddler and a few businesses to run). But, there was always that thought about the results circling in my mind. And that's what I mean by waiting. I mean my whole brain isn't present that some part of my thoughts are awaiting some future moment, and it is distracting to say the least.
I find myself waiting a lot. Waiting for software to upload, waiting for my daughter to fall asleep, waiting in line doing errands, waiting for the response to an email, waiting for bedtime when I can finish a good book, waiting for my husband to come back from a shoot, waiting, waiting, waiting. Not being wholly present. So my question started off like this: How do I get rid of the waiting feeling? And then I thought, "Well, the waiting feeling isn't the issue, it is the thoughts that go along with waiting: the what ifs, the future plans, the leaning away from the preset." So, my discovery was to try to just be with the waiting, not to work on it, or through it, or get rid of it or anything. But just to be with it.
And guess what? I beat the odds and I don't have gestational diabetes this pregnancy! I am thrilled (or as thrilled as I can be at six months pregnant on a 90 degree day.) But though my appreciation of the fact that I can eat ice cream this summer is great, what is greater to me is this lesson about being with something instead of thinking about it.
So, I was waiting for test results, and it was uncomfortable. And that's that. I didn't have to circle though the possible outcomes and resulting questions an necessary actions. All of that thinking was an ineffective use of my brain power. All I really had to do was wait, and be with the waiting. Did it change the outcome? No, of course not. But it did change mg experience.
Are you willing to try?
Start simple: Next time you are in line somewhere, or waiting for something or someone, try to focus just on the feeling of waiting. Don't think about what is next, or where you could be, or what else you might be doing. Just be with the waiting and know that it is okay.
Personal Honesty in Business, Part I
Honesty in business, for me, is being first and foremost honest about who I am. When I started getting into business and leaving the nine-to-five word, I was very guarded about sharing any parts of myself. I thought that to be a professional meant very certain things and I lived and worked under these assumptions.
Honesty in business, for me, is being first and foremost honest about who I am. When I started getting into business and leaving the nine-to-five word, I was very guarded about sharing any parts of myself. I thought that to be a professional meant very certain things and I lived and worked under these assumptions.
As I grew, both as a businesswoman and an individual, I realized that keep this harsh "professional" separateness was NOT serving me. It made me feel inauthentic and secretive, which are not qualities I wanted to bring to my work. As I started sharing more of myself, my work became more EFFECTIVE.
At the end of the day, that's what I want, to be effective at what I do. I've learned that letting a little bit of myself through that professional wall allows me to maximize my efficiency and improve my business relationships.
Three ways you can begin to share more:
- Tell the truth when someone asks you how you are. Let them in, not for an hour, but just for a couple of minutes. Even if you are on a conference call, this honest check-in lets them know where you are really coming from.
- Be willing to listen to what someone else is feeling. Being a good listener is a big part of honesty. We have to be confident and open enough to sit in silence and listen, thoughtfully.
- If a client or co-worker is having a difficult time, share with them a personal anecdote. You don't have to go into great detail, but it is always comforting for them to know they aren't experiencing something in a vacuum.
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