Measuring Success:: How Good Am I?
My father just turned 70. Birthdays make me think a lot about timelines and transitions and mostly – am I getting where I want to go? Where is it I want to go? Am I doing a good job? What is my job? What am I doing? Whats the point?
Without dragging you down the bumpy existential road to self discovery...
How do you define success as a creative entrepreneur?
- Guit instinct?
- Emotional wellbeing?
- Bank balance?
- Fun working?
- Sense of accomplishment?
There is no boss to give you a raise. There is no one to tell you you are doing a good job. You are alone at your desk, most of the time. Or in your studio. Or on the road. Maybe you are surrounded by people. But in the end, there is just you and no accepted measure of your success.
Are you richer than last year? Are you more fulfilled?
How do you measure fulfillment?
It's different each day, isn't it. Some days there is GLORY and you are soaring high. Some days you are in the trenches.
SO how to measure without all the subjectivity?
- Are you attaining your goals?
- Are you in alignment with what you value?
And then we go ONE.STEP.BACK:
What ARE your goals? And, what do you value?
These are the two core questions that are worth your introspection. I promise. It doesn't take long. And it will be so very worth it. Every time you begin to spiral down the measurement alley, just ask yourself: Am I attaining my goals? Am I acting in accordance to what I value?
The answer will point you in the right direction.
Now walk the path. One step at a time.
You Bright-Eyed-Bushy-Tailed Business Fledgling
I have this new client (a start-up) and they are so tired that I am tired for them. Just totally exhausted.
What do we do as self-employed types? Eat chocolates and curl up in bed? (No, but that's what my dog did today while I was out all day, sigh.)
Here are just a few of those many hats:
- budgeting
- paying bills
- entering expenses
- communicating with clients
- creating estimates and invoices
- buying office supplies
- maintaining mailing lists
- creating newsletters
- researching
- facebook, twitter, instagram, linkedin
- maintaining equipment
- paying taxes
Oh, right, and then there is doing all the actual work people pay you for...
Are you scared yet?
Is it a lot of work? Yes. Yes, it is.
Are you bored yet? Does some of it suck?
Yes. Yes, it does.
That being said, I have so much respect for those people who are running businesses with no prior business experience.
Talk about BAD ASS PEOPLE BITING OFF MORE THAN THEY CAN CHEW.
The slope is steep. (I know!)
This is one of my most treasured parts of working with fledgling businesses.
I like to coax all of those threads of confusion into beautiful tapestry.
- Make things simpler.
- Follow a plan, yet be flexible.
- Create something EFFECTIVE.
- Work within your capacity.
I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. TRUST ME. I BELIEVE IN YOU.
Plan Your Tomorrow, Do It Today
Don't let your emotions wildly change your course of action. Right? Like, if I wake up in a confused and shitty ass mood, should I let it define my day? Can I get a "Hell No"?
I mean, yes, emotions are important. Taking time for yourself is important. But for right now, bear with me. Forward motion is important and achieving the goals you set for yourself is important.
So don't let your day get all caught up in your shit. (Click HERE to Tweet)
At least not when you've got business to attend to!
Before you leave the office/stop working/ go to sleep make a list of three things that ABSOLUTELY MUST GET DONE TOMORROW. Leave the list when you'll see it right when you settle in. Whenever and wherever this is. (If you don't have this place/time, you should probably deal with that too.)
When you arrive at the moment of doingstuff-ness, do the things on your list.
Like, before you check your email, or open up three thousand browser windows, or read this post.
Then if you fuck off for the rest of the day, well, so what. (Click HERE to Tweet)
I mean, not that I am giving you permission. But...
The moral here that if you wait till morning, till you are "ready" to work, then you will have to spend too much delicious working time deciding what to work on. If you have predetermined what needs your attention, then you are freed from that decision. You are free to actually begin your day, rather than just consider beginning your day. Action, babes.
You also have some super sweet forward motion, like, on a daily basis.
Attainable goals, we got you, bitches. (Click HERE to Tweet)
-HWG
Do the Dirty Work
Yes, love, there is sweetness. Yes, love, there are flowers. There's red lipstick and
lace panties
(yes,underwear jealousyis a theme for me right now.)
Yes, love, there is sweetness. Yes, love, there are flowers. There's red lipstick and
lace panties
(yes,underwear jealousyis a theme for me right now.)
Yes, dear, there are sunsets, lazy with tea and wine. Yes, dear, there are sleepy mornings, fog rolling in, down ensconced.
We heart these lovelies. We embrace the moments between the sweat and the tears. Or, at least, we try.
But there is also the dirty.
There's the dog shit, the cat puke, the kids screaming and the
damn sun rising too soon.
There's the never-glam scrubbing of tiles. The making of the money, the driving to the bank, the carrying the groceries to the car, the cutting the toenails. There is the everyday and the mundane
and the sudden and beautiful and wild.
Somehow, these things have gotta learn how to share space. How to dance with each other, spinning and spinning through this thing called life.
There is something beautiful about bearing witness to the grunt labor. Those business women sitting there entering line item after line item in their quickbooks. Those mama's bouncing babes on their hips while pushing mops, folding clothes. Those masons stacking brick after brick, building the foundation of a home. In the basic tasks of life, there is freedom, there is routine, there is good, old fashioned hard work.
Today I am tired of the lazy. Annoyed at the self-righteous. Frustrated at the spoiled.
Go out and work, people. Only then do you deserve to rest.
(or trick or treat)
Want to read more?
BLOG
about a month ago
People Making Pasta in My Artless Kitchen
about 3 months ago
about 3 months ago
Giving Up - with a side of beginning, as per usual
Oof. I am depressed today about being able to do way less of my work then I am used to doing. I have no more than 15 minutes to myself at a time. Sometimes less. I knew this was coming, but not how much it would pull the rug out from under me.
Oof. I am depressed today about being able to do way less of my work then I am used to doing. I have no more than 15 minutes to myself at a time. Sometimes less. I knew this was coming, but not how much it would pull the rug out from under me.
Obligations shift.
This baby is different than I expected. (I know, right, expectations, ha!) I know it is just a transition. But I seriously LOVE what I do for work. I adore helping clients, organizing peoples brains, giving them a glimpse of clarity.
I thrive on being creative, thinking and then actualizing my ideas. (I have a new one cooking).
What do you thrive on?
Not that I don't love being awake for more than half the night (what incredible thinking time, scheming time!), but I know I am looking at dialing back my private work time and integrating much more with family time. Two kids is no joke; A three year old and a baby that needs to be carried and walked all.the.time.
I love sleep. I love going to bed early and waking up late. I love naps. I love days where you get more than one nap. None of this remarkable sleep stuff really happens for me anymore. I look at teenagers on the street and the green eyes monster awakens in me. 12 hours plus! Joy!
But, my friends, that's not how it is meant to be for me, right now. Sleep and work, my two favorites; I must
SURRENDER.
And ACCEPT.
So, what's the lesson here? What can I (what can you) learn when obligations shift? When things are different then our expectations.
Shit is gonna change. And that's that.
Breathe it in, ride the waves, roll with it. New kid? New house? New job? Death? Birth? Pain? Whatever it is, the answer is the same. Live it. Fighting it won't change it and it sure as hell won't make it prettier.
Here's what I am doing a lot of now: Making $$ off of how I spend my days. Today: CLOTH DIAPERS
Liking what I have to say? Try these posts:
I Miss, I Miss, I Miss (Because Being Self Employed is not ALWAYS the Bomb)
I miss high heels (I work from home you see).
I miss the water cooler (cold, free-to-me crisp water, anytime).
I miss being the right temperature for a man in a suit jacket (and stashing sweaters under my desk).
I miss tech support (calling them, not being them).
I miss take out for lunch (because I'm lazy).
I miss high heels (I work from home you see).
I miss the water cooler (cold, free-to-me crisp water, anytime).
I miss being the right temperature for a man in a suit jacket (and stashing sweaters under my desk).
I miss tech support (calling them, not being them).
I miss take out for lunch (because I'm lazy).
I miss commuting (mmm, forced time and space).
I miss direct deposit (weekly, biweekly, whatever).
I miss thinking it's not my problem (these days, it always is).'
I miss coworkers (even the nasty ones, I swear).
I miss weekends (WTF are those?)
I miss paid time off, and sick days and subsidized heath insurance (seriously, they pay you to not work AND stay healthy).
I miss sexy underwear (seriously, what's the point?)
I miss corporate credit cards (someone else pays for something!)
I miss elevators (okay, maybe not so much).
I miss empty trash cans (every morning, yo! Trash be gone like magic! And that shit is vacuumed too!)
I guess what i am saying is this so over said, but under appreciated thought, thanks Joni.
“Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”
And also, how can I make sexy underwear, ice water and vacations a bigger part of my life?
So for all of you "I-still-have-a-9-5-and-I-resent-it" this post is for you. Breathe in the goodness and get your creative off on the side.
On Blogging, A Conversation
I got this message from a friend and colleague:
"Ya know. I'm not sure whether I love or hate the fact you send me mass emails about what's going on in your life."
I got this message from a friend and colleague:
"Ya know. I'm not sure whether I love or hate the fact you send me mass emails about what's going on in your life."
I wrote back:
"You love it. I know you love it. At least you know they are mass emails. You don't know how many responses I get from people who think I am personally writing to them."
He says:
"That's because you're the only person that has given their personal life a brand. Lots of people don't exactly understand what you're doing. Your the only real person that they know who is doing this. Let's compare you to Martha Stewart. Your friends and family get a branded email from her and they know it is an ad because she is unreal. When they get a similar style of message from you. (Obviously you're not selling bed skirts) but when they see a message from you, they don't know what to make of it. Because you're real to them. Don't get me wrong. I admire what you're doing and what you've created. And I think you need to continue doing exactly what you're doing. I'd call you a lifestyle maven."
I am giving myself six months of playing with categories and writing styles and links and tagging and SEO to just kind of explore in public what my goals and purposes are thru blogging.
- Am I trying to update people on what's up in my daily life?
- Am I trying to help people live their lives?
- Is this only for business people?
- Is this targeted at moms only, self employed only?
- Who it the market? Who is the readership?
This is how he clarified it for me:
"I think it boils down to this. 80% of the people I know have been bred to believe that a 9-5 lifestyle is the only way to get the things they want. But you've made a different way work for yourself and your family. Not to say you don't work your ass off trying to do it. But you do it your own way. That's an incredibly appealing idea for people. And to give some insight into how they might do that for themselves is a great opportunity for you. Believe it or not you are sort of living some people's dream. You didn't have to become famous or incredibly wealthy in order to live how you want. And you didn't have to subscribe to some big companies ideals."
"That. AND showing off your own style. Modern with a touch of vintage, artistic and functional, family oriented. "
"If I were you my mission statement would be: 'This is what I have put together for myself, this is how I've done it. You can too.'"
And it is true...I Want To Show You How I Live The Dream.
If you liked this post (even a little) you might enjoy...
How to be Crazy Successful - And a Suggestion for Organizing your "to read" Internet Stuff
Yesterday, my site www.wearyourmusic.org had over 21K unique visitors. It is the first large e-commerce site I have ever designed and since it only launched two days before this, it has been a pretty epic test. It has also involved an onslaught of emails that are INSANE.
Here are some good collected reads that I am saving to read again once this insanity dies down a bit. (It always does, remember ebb and flow!)
- Well, first off, take care of yourself and get up early.
- Hone your communication skills.
- Work on your MARKETING SKILLS, yo.
- Compensate those who work with you.
Read these and inn the meantime, send me thoughts of calm and togetherness :)
Butterflies Abound - Transitions
So tomorrow I leave for three weeks with my toddler and two dogs to head to the beach and work remotely. It is a wonderful luxury of my job, my self-employment status. At the same time, it makes me crazy. Eight months pregnant, no AC, no dishwasher, lots of sand - oh, and did I mention it is an island? My darling husband will be away making money (which we totally need). I have yuppie problems, and I know it. (release guilt here)
So tomorrow I leave for three weeks with my toddler and two dogs to head to the beach and work remotely. It is a wonderful luxury of my job, my self-employment status. At the same time, it makes me crazy. Eight months pregnant, no AC, no dishwasher, lots of sand - oh, and did I mention it is an island? My darling husband will be away making money (which we totally need). I have yuppie problems, and I know it. (release guilt here)
I am preparing by purchasing my first beach chair, and I already bought some light magazine reading. Oprah is teaching me more simple stress relief and Home and Garden suggests freezing and canning techniques for fruits.
I am bringing lots of heavy books (like this one and this one) that I don't plan on getting to.
Transitions are always a challenge for me, and yet my life seems full of them. I say "BRING IT! Lots of room for practicing the skills of adaptation that I preach!" The monarch transitions so naturally, so today, it is my inspiration. I am off to Mexico in my mind.
Won't you JOIN ME in exploring how to step back, bend to the seasons, and learn what you can?
Facebook: The New Achievement Calibrator
I wrote this years ago when Facebook was first catching on. As I delve into curriculum for an e-course on social media I have been thinking a lot about this type of networked sharing. It's also great fun to see where I was coming from then and how I have changed. But that's a story for a different day...
Who’s fat and who’s hot, who’s married and who’s not?
first joined Facebook about a month ago. Yeah, I had My Space and Linked In already. To be honest, I didn’t even open the account—my assistant did....
I wrote this years ago when Facebook was first catching on. As I delve into curriculum for an e-course on social media I have been thinking a lot about this type of networked sharing. It's also great fun to see where I was coming from then and how I have changed. But that's a story for a different day...
Who’s fat and who’s hot, who’s married and who’s not?
I first joined Facebook about a month ago. Yeah, I hadMy Space and Linked In already. To be honest, I didn’t even open the account—my assistant did. However, I was doing a little Google research on the current owners of an 1879 building I’m trying to buy (speakeasy and bank vault in the basement!), and one of them showed up on Facebook. Without being logged in, I couldn’t access her information. So I got the login info, wrote a stalker-esq E-note to the seller, and then got suckered into the friend search. I now have 101 friends on Facebook.
Since my impromptu login, I have spent the better part of multiple conference calls finding and adding friends from my elementary, camp, high school, college and business years. I’ve been escaping from the adulthood of property purchase by judging their photos and their college diplomas, seeing who’s fat and who’s hot, who’s married and who’s not and what they have been doing for the last (fill-in-the-blank) years.
I spent the better part of one morning recently on the phone with a childhood friend. Yes, she is my friend on Facebook, but the rest of our relationship exists in the real world, where she caught the bouquet at my wedding and then dumped the guy she brought. Today, though, worlds collided. I gave her my password so that she could see my “friends” who are our mutual past. Our heartthrob at ten is now fat, the geek is hot and successful. The story’s the same as it was at in-person reunions of a prior era. But now, in lieu of semi-annual dinners scheduled by board members, we just go to Facebook during business hours and click around to see who’s had kids, who really became a lesbian, and how much more successful than ourselves everyone else has become. It is the ultimate vain test of own identities. A virtual life-progress measuring board. From Apgar to IQ to SAT scores, Facebook’s the new achievement calibrator.
“I should have been married by now,” she whines. “Or gone to Nicaragua and lived with villagers like you did.”
It was Mexico, not Nicaragua, but I feel the same way—depressed about my own life when compared to the happy Facebook lives of people I used to know. At the beginning, Facebook is confusing, then addictive, then depressing. It’s the status updates and the mini-bios and the heavily edited photos. Maya now lives in New Zealand with her boyfriend and they seem to travel all the time, and smile. There is Nora, with three kids, married eight years, and still finds time for grad school. My ex-boyfriend is teaching in Taiwan with his girlfriend after traveling around South America. Law school for some, med school for more, swimming with dolphins, playing music, green building certifications, parties, adventures, etc.
I look at all these people with whom I’ve shared moments at different times of my life and I wonder, are they better, smarter, prettier, more accomplished? I question my life and my choices. Have they hit more milestones? Did I travel to enough countries? Should I have gone to med school?
It really comes down to happiness. I want to know if they are happier than me. And Facebook messes with that. It makes me a happiness voyeur. Spying openly and even commenting on the things that they feel compelled to share. In real life, in true interaction, we can see worry lines on peoples faces and the circles under their eyes. Facebook deletes this and leaves us with a resume —updated daily—of accomplishments. So we compare. Now, I am questioning my own life, my happiness and my identity because of what I see on Facebook. And I am not alone.
On my profile I am wearing a bikini and standing on the Emerald coast, I am a summa cum laude graduate of Columbia University, I am the CEO of two companies and married to an amazing photographer. But on the inside, I’m just a kid looking to measure up. And a kid who’s glad she didn’t have to grow up with Facebook.
Think about this:
*how do you appear on social media?
*how do you want to appear?