Hannah Garrison 6/1/13 Hannah Garrison 6/1/13

Waiting

With my first pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes. Despite no indicators for it in my medical history, I failed all the tests and ended up eating a very strict diet and taking my blood 4 times per day for just under half of my pregnancy. Luckily, my daughter was fine, and I had no residual complications...

“Waiting is the hardest part...You take it on faith, you take it to the heart.”

— Tom Petty

Well, I am pregnant again. And the chances of having gestational diabetes in a subsequent pregnancy is high, something like 85%. So, this time around I've had to test for it twice. And I've had to wait for the results, twice. Man, waiting is uncomfortable for me. My last test was yesterday and I waited all day today for my doctor to call. I want to define what I felt when I say "waiting." I certainly didn't sit by the phone (the phone sat by me though). I kept busy (not too hard with a toddler and a few businesses to run). But, there was always that thought about the results circling in my mind. And that's what I mean by waiting. I mean my whole brain isn't present that some part of my thoughts are awaiting some future moment, and it is distracting to say the least.

I find myself waiting a lot. Waiting for software to upload, waiting for my daughter to fall asleep, waiting in line doing errands, waiting for the response to an email, waiting for bedtime when I can finish a good book, waiting for my husband to come back from a shoot, waiting, waiting, waiting. Not being wholly present. So my question started off like this: How do I get rid of the waiting feeling? And then I thought, "Well, the waiting feeling isn't the issue, it is the thoughts that go along with waiting: the what ifs, the future plans, the leaning away from the preset." So, my discovery was to try to just be with the waiting, not to work on it, or through it, or get rid of it or anything. But just to be with it.

And guess what? I beat the odds and I don't have gestational diabetes this pregnancy! I am thrilled (or as thrilled as I can be at six months pregnant on a 90 degree day.) But though my appreciation of the fact that I can eat ice cream this summer is great, what is greater to me is this lesson about being with something instead of thinking about it.

So, I was waiting for test results, and it was uncomfortable. And that's that. I didn't have to circle though the possible outcomes and resulting questions an necessary actions. All of that thinking was an ineffective use of my brain power. All I really had to do was wait, and be with the waiting. Did it change the outcome? No, of course not. But it did change mg experience.

Are you willing to try?

Start simple: Next time you are in line somewhere, or waiting for something or someone, try to focus just on the feeling of waiting. Don't think about what is next, or where you could be, or what else you might be doing. Just be with the waiting and know that it is okay.

Hannah Garrison 4/29/13 Hannah Garrison 4/29/13

Personal Honesty in Business, Part II

Negotiation is one of my particular strengths. My skills have increased over time, but negotiation always something I found enjoyable and was good at. Now that I have a toddler I am getting a whole different kind of practice, which makes me a bit introspective. My ultimate goal (and the reason I enjoy negotiation ) is:

I like when both parties get what they want.

To me, a successful negotiation is when both parties "win. " Many tactical negotiation strategies have to do with NOT being honest going into a negotiation. I think differently. I think that if you actually ask for what you want, then you are more likely to end up with it. My brother, an attorney, recommended a great book to me. It is extraordinarily simple, which makes it a pleasure to nod to as you are reading. It's called Getting to Yes, by Robert Fisher and the basic premises are these:

There doesn't have to be a trade off between getting along with someone and getting what you want from someone. It's not an either or situation.
Negotiation is for MUTUAL GAIN. You wouldn't be negotiating if there weren't something at stake that benefited both of you. Remember that.
If the other party stoops to a lower level and tries to manipulate or take advantage of you, don't meet them there. Hold your truth.
Don't attempt a strategy. BE HONEST and do business with honest people whenever possible.

Waiting

Start simple: Next time you are in line somewhere, or waiting for something or someone, try to focus just on the feeling of waiting. Don't think about what is next, or where you could be, or what else you might be doing. Just be with the waiting and know that it is okay.

Personal Honesty in Business, Part II

I like when both parties get what they want.

I like when both parties get what they want.

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