Hannah Garrison 6/14/13 Hannah Garrison 6/14/13

Organizing - My Brain

I am telling you the truth when I say that somedays I wish I could hire myself. I spent the last two days wrestling with pregnancy hormones and trying to sort out my plan of attack. Guess what?

I didn't get there yet. And that's okay. Or at least, that's what I'd tell you. So that's what I am telling myself. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Allow space for these feelings, allow things to be DIFFERENT. I am choosing to allow myself to be DIFFERENT then I perceive myself to "normally" be. I tend to be very clear when it comes to my (or your) plan of action. These last few days, I can see yours clearly, but not mine. Can I roll with that? Can I make lists and watch the rain and read Dr. Seuss to my daughter and do some laundry and ignore some dishes and make something with my hands? Can I give myself the chance to NOT BE ORGANIZED OR EFFICIENT?

I'd like to try to let these feelings just float around and not attach to them. Not to struggle against the flow. Not to try to understand the WHY of it all. I'm gonna give it a shot and just keep repeating these words: Allow, alllow, allow. Don't judge, don't justify. Allow, allow, allow.

How do you adapt when you are not feeling like yourself?

Do you use inspiration? THIS print about songbirds and roots inspires me.

Hannah Garrison 6/4/13 Hannah Garrison 6/4/13

Facebook: The New Achievement Calibrator

I wrote this years ago when Facebook was first catching on. As I delve into curriculum for an e-course on social media I have been thinking a lot about this type of networked sharing. It's also great fun to see where I was coming from then and how I have changed. But that's a story for a different day...

Who’s fat and who’s hot, who’s married and who’s not?

first joined Facebook about a month ago. Yeah, I had My Space and Linked In already. To be honest, I didn’t even open the account—my assistant did....

Who’s fat and who’s hot, who’s married and who’s not?

I first joined Facebook about a month ago. Yeah, I hadMy Space and Linked In already. To be honest, I didn’t even open the account—my assistant did. However, I was doing a little Google research on the current owners of an 1879 building I’m trying to buy (speakeasy and bank vault in the basement!), and one of them showed up on Facebook. Without being logged in, I couldn’t access her information. So I got the login info, wrote a stalker-esq E-note to the seller, and then got suckered into the friend search. I now have 101 friends on Facebook.

Since my impromptu login, I have spent the better part of multiple conference calls finding and adding friends from my elementary, camp, high school, college and business years. I’ve been escaping from the adulthood of property purchase by judging their photos and their college diplomas, seeing who’s fat and who’s hot, who’s married and who’s not and what they have been doing for the last (fill-in-the-blank) years.

I spent the better part of one morning recently on the phone with a childhood friend. Yes, she is my friend on Facebook, but the rest of our relationship exists in the real world, where she caught the bouquet at my wedding and then dumped the guy she brought. Today, though, worlds collided. I gave her my password so that she could see my “friends” who are our mutual past. Our heartthrob at ten is now fat, the geek is hot and successful. The story’s the same as it was at in-person reunions of a prior era. But now, in lieu of semi-annual dinners scheduled by board members, we just go to Facebook during business hours and click around to see who’s had kids, who really became a lesbian, and how much more successful than ourselves everyone else has become. It is the ultimate vain test of own identities. A virtual life-progress measuring board. From Apgar to IQ to SAT scores, Facebook’s the new achievement calibrator.

“I should have been married by now,” she whines. “Or gone to Nicaragua and lived with villagers like you did.”

It was Mexico, not Nicaragua, but I feel the same way—depressed about my own life when compared to the happy Facebook lives of people I used to know. At the beginning, Facebook is confusing, then addictive, then depressing. It’s the status updates and the mini-bios and the heavily edited photos. Maya now lives in New Zealand with her boyfriend and they seem to travel all the time, and smile. There is Nora, with three kids, married eight years, and still finds time for grad school. My ex-boyfriend is teaching in Taiwan with his girlfriend after traveling around South America. Law school for some, med school for more, swimming with dolphins, playing music, green building certifications, parties, adventures, etc.

I look at all these people with whom I’ve shared moments at different times of my life and I wonder, are they better, smarter, prettier, more accomplished? I question my life and my choices. Have they hit more milestones? Did I travel to enough countries? Should I have gone to med school?

It really comes down to happiness. I want to know if they are happier than me. And Facebook messes with that. It makes me a happiness voyeur. Spying openly and even commenting on the things that they feel compelled to share. In real life, in true interaction, we can see worry lines on peoples faces and the circles under their eyes. Facebook deletes this and leaves us with a resume —updated daily—of accomplishments. So we compare. Now, I am questioning my own life, my happiness and my identity because of what I see on Facebook. And I am not alone.

On my profile I am wearing a bikini and standing on the Emerald coast, I am a summa cum laude graduate of Columbia University, I am the CEO of two companies and married to an amazing photographer. But on the inside, I’m just a kid looking to measure up. And a kid who’s glad she didn’t have to grow up with Facebook.

Think about this:

*how do you appear on social media?

*how do you want to appear?

Hannah Garrison 5/10/13 Hannah Garrison 5/10/13

I Give You Permission

Standing in the mall, in the stupid mall, hands sweating, blood rushing. "I just can't," I thought.

I am pretty sure that this sometimes happens to you too, maybe not in the mall, but somewhere, you crash.

I have a recommendation for you on those days. And I am trying to listen to it for myself as well.

Don't push so hard. Give yourself permission.

Standing in the mall, in the stupid mall, hands sweating, blood rushing. "I just can't," I thought.

I am pretty sure that this sometimes happens to you too, maybe not in the mall, but somewhere, you crash.

I have a recommendation for you on those days. And I am trying to listen to it for myself as well.

Don't push so hard. Give yourself permission.

Why is this so hard to be okay with? Why can't I just step back and breathe? Why can't I take my own advice? Well, it's because I so often equate my own sense of self worth with what I can accomplish. I know this to be a pitfall for very many self-employed and very driven people. And the solution is two-fold: 1) PRIDE and 2) PRACTICE.

We are raised and rewarded in a society that gives feedback for effort. Most of us have never heard "great job taking care of yourself today." Rather we get gold stars and A's in school and praise from bosses or co-workers for a job well done. So what happens when you are the boss? Who gives you that feedback you were so acclimatized to? Who decides how much homework is too much? Who decides when you are pushing too hard?

There are so many benefits to being self-employed. But one of the biggest drawbacks is the LACK of feedback and the sense of unending RESPONSIBILITY to be driven.

I practice my own two-fold solution:

PRIDE- I will take a deep breath and have pride in what I do, overall. I will take another deep breath and pat myself on the back and realize, every moment doesn't have to be 100% for me to be doing a good job. I will walk out of the mall.
PRACTICE- I will practice not pushing so hard. I will breath and practice being and breath again and practice again. One foot in front of the other.

Hannah Garrison 4/29/13 Hannah Garrison 4/29/13

Personal Honesty in Business, Part II

Negotiation is one of my particular strengths. My skills have increased over time, but negotiation always something I found enjoyable and was good at. Now that I have a toddler I am getting a whole different kind of practice, which makes me a bit introspective. My ultimate goal (and the reason I enjoy negotiation ) is:

I like when both parties get what they want.

To me, a successful negotiation is when both parties "win. " Many tactical negotiation strategies have to do with NOT being honest going into a negotiation. I think differently. I think that if you actually ask for what you want, then you are more likely to end up with it. My brother, an attorney, recommended a great book to me. It is extraordinarily simple, which makes it a pleasure to nod to as you are reading. It's called Getting to Yes, by Robert Fisher and the basic premises are these:

There doesn't have to be a trade off between getting along with someone and getting what you want from someone. It's not an either or situation.
Negotiation is for MUTUAL GAIN. You wouldn't be negotiating if there weren't something at stake that benefited both of you. Remember that.
If the other party stoops to a lower level and tries to manipulate or take advantage of you, don't meet them there. Hold your truth.
Don't attempt a strategy. BE HONEST and do business with honest people whenever possible.

Personal Honesty in Business, Part I

Honesty in business, for me, is being first and foremost honest about who I am. When I started getting into business and leaving the nine-to-five word, I was very guarded about sharing any parts of myself. I thought that to be a professional meant very certain things and I lived and worked under these assumptions.

As I grew, both as a businesswoman and an individual, I realized that keep this harsh "professional" separateness was NOT serving me. It made me feel inauthentic and secretive, which are not qualities I wanted to bring to my work. As I started sharing more of myself, my work became more EFFECTIVE.

At the end of the day, that's what I want, to be effective at what I do. I've learned that letting a little bit of myself through that professional wall allows me to maximize my efficiency and improve my business relationships.

Three ways you can begin to share more:

Tell the truth when someone asks you how you are. Let them in, not for an hour, but just for a couple of minutes. Even if you are on a conference call, this honest check-in lets them know where you are really coming from.
Be willing to listen to what someone else is feeling. Being a good listener is a big part of honesty. We have to be confident and open enough to sit in silence and listen, thoughtfully.
If a client or co-worker is having a difficult time, share with them a personal anecdote. You don't have to go into great detail, but it is always comforting for them to know they aren't experiencing something in a vacuum.

Organizing - My Brain

How do you adapt when you are not feeling like yourself?

Facebook: The New Achievement Calibrator

Think about this:

I Give You Permission

Personal Honesty in Business, Part II

I like when both parties get what they want.

I like when both parties get what they want.

Related posts that you might dig:

Personal Honesty in Business, Part I

Three ways you can begin to share more:

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