THIS (here and now) Is Where The Work Begins
On August 23rd my son was born. On September 13th my daughter turned three. On September 23rd I was married for seven years. On October 30th we bought our third piece of property and moved. The next 6 weeks are my busiest of the year. One of my mother's best friends just died.
This is where the work begins.
We used to live in a loft and smoke cigarettes in bed. Anxieties ran high. Responsibilities ran low. Or so I now see.
The thing is,
I am no longer living MY life.
Well, I never was. You aren't living your own life. We are, each of us, participants in so many lives.
I am creating a life, yes.
I am shaping lives, yes.
I am sharing experiences, yes.
I am peering through windows into lives I would never otherwise see.
So with each tantrum (mine, mostly) in all of these terribly tender, tricky moments I try to remember that:
I am only a participant in this moment.
It is not MINE to control. Step back, Hannah. Release it. Experience it. But for gosh sakes, stop getting so darn caught up and over thinking it.
Forward always.
People Making Pasta in My Artless Kitchen
Artless kitchen because we are MOVING and everything is in boxes (almost).
Pasta because Chris' brother is here making Spaetzle. Like macaroni and cheese, only better.
And I am warning you,
I am FEELING LOST.
Artless kitchen because we are MOVING and everything is in boxes (almost).
Pasta because Chris' brother is here making Spaetzle. Like macaroni and cheese, only better. And anything with cheese always makes me happy.
And I am warning you,
I am FEELING LOST.
I seem to have forgotten, until today, just how sad moving makes me. I walk around despairing the loss of views through windows, the squeaks of doors and floorboards, the feeling of a door handle in the dark, the shape of the ceiling fan's shadows. I feel heartbroken and mournful. Like leaving a lover, like death, like change.
I know it's like passing from maiden to mother, from mother to crone. I know it's like leaving a job and clearing your desk and cutting your hair. I know it's the jacket that got left in the nightclub, the tattoo drawn but never inked.
Loss. Emptiness. Abandon.
So, I'll hold my babies close, look out this window for the last time, and feel the ground beneath my feet.
Change and challenge. Prevail.
Because you are here already, you might as well keep reading:
BLOG
Oh Snap, What Have I Done #wordlesswednesday
about 4 months ago
Passive Income like a Mother*ucker
about 4 months ago
The Hustle. (I'm a Hustler, Baby. I Just Want You to Know)
about 6 months ago
Moving Life
I know I am not the only one who loves moving. But I really do. I've been getting rid of stuff lately and now I am so excited to pare down even more and pack up.
We were approved for our loan (our third, ohmygod) to buy the new blue house! And we close (I think) in about two weeks.
Now on the agenda:
I know I am not the only one who loves moving. But I really do. I've been getting rid of stuff lately and now I am so excited to pare down even more and pack up.
We were approved for our loan (our third, ohmygod) to buy the new blue house! And we close (I think) in less than ten days.
Now on the agenda:
- Packing. (Yippee Yeah YEAH Yahoo!)
- Fixing up our current place. Want to come paint window trim for us? Also, patching walls, cleaning, primping, making gorgeous.
- Trying to rent our current apt. See listing HERE. And please, pass it around.
- Taking care of two kids, running a few businesses, and wait, doing this all in the next two weeks!
- Is there something I am missing? Like dreaming about stuff for the new house on etsy?
- Oh, right, taking off the trim in the laundry room to get the washer out, switching the plug back to a euro to put in a different washer/dryer, getting the mason to come and re-tile the shower....crap! Go, team, go!
And now, because you always look for this:
Mindfulness in Moving
Things to notice as you go:
- SPACE. Stop. Breathe it it, feel it around you.
- STUFF. See your attachments. Note them & move gently along.
- DECISIONS. Yes, we all make them. Trust yourself deeply.
- TIME. Things change. We are always IN FLUX. Breathe again. Accept.
- CALM. Even in the most harrowed moments, there are other moments within.
Close your eyes and smile. You CAN do this.
Read more and read it here:
Life Lite – Live Light
Oh it is the fifth trip to sal–army this week to drop off bags and bags and it feels so amazing. What is it about lightening the load that makes me feel like a balloon? That makes me feel like this:
Oh it is the fifth trip to sal–army this week to drop off bags and bags and it feels so amazing. What is it about lightening the load that makes me feel like a balloon? That makes me feel like this:
Just a station wagon and some nalgene bottles. And a whole lot of love. But what I remember was the
LIGHTNESS.
Actually, scratch that. I am just pretending to remember lightness. I think I was pretty stressed at the time.
But back to LIGHTENING THE LOAD. Gosh, every bag I donate, every unused bunt pan, serving spoon, stuffed animal, and three hole punch – I levitate a little more. I feel
SPACE OPEN.
This is how I want to feel.
Clean, able to breathe, able to move and flow, inspired, soft, thankful.
I love identifying this. Realizing how profoundly space impacts me. How I love light shining off of golden wood floors.
My next tenant will move to the amazing space you see below. I love this, this offering of space. This way I collect money to support my family, in exchange for space.
ENTER THE GIVEAWAY HERE!
Like this stuff? Maybe you'll like this stuff:
I Am Tired of Writing About Mom Shit (GIVEAWAY!)
Today was fine.
It was a regular day (guitar string bracelets, building websites, booking clients, wiping poopy bums, eating, doing laundry, paying bills, painting trim, going to pediatrician, vacuuming, taking the dogs out, selling cloth diapers online, taking pictures of my food, talking to my employees, yelling at my husband, scheduling email blasts, planning sales for holiday season) and it was fine.
Today was fine.
It was a regular day (guitar string bracelets, building websites, booking clients, wiping poopy bums, eating, doing laundry, paying bills, painting trim, going to pediatrician, vacuuming, taking the dogs out, selling cloth diapers online, taking pictures of my food, talking to my employees, yelling at my husband, scheduling email blasts, planning sales for holiday season) and it was fine. Did I mention that already? I don't want to look a fine gift horse in the mouth, because there are PLENTY of days (trust me) when fine would have been FREAKING AMAZING. But lately these fine kind of busy, half-asleep days are kinda lackluster.
I want something REALLY exciting to happen.
(I think I am, like, an excitement junkie at this point – cause buying a house and having a baby aren't exciting enough?)
And so I think. What would I like? What would be exciting? Well, my answer is this: Something that wasn't mom shit. It's not that I don't love my kids (I do), it's not that I am not an asshole (I am), it's just that some days I am bored and I miss throwing myself FULL FORCE into my business.
So, in order to jumpstart my process and carve out the time I need for my business, I am doing something I've never done before. I am
giving away a
free mini session. Gulp.
Are you interested?
Choose from these phone/skype session options:
- 30 Minutes to Goal Planning
- 30 Minutes to Computer Sanity
- 30 Minutes to Time Management
- 30 Minutes to Inspiration
- 30 Minutes to Money Smarts
- 30 Minutes to Self Care
TO ENTER: All you've got to do is tell me why you need it. Either comment below or email me if you'd prefer to keep it private. A week from this post (10/10) I'll pick the winner and we can schedule your session!
Good luck! And do, go, share with your friends.
BY WAY OF REMINDER...
WHO MY CLIENTS ARE:
- People who are interested in being fulfilled, having the "good life."
- People who want to live in accordance with what they value.
- People who are willing to work hard, but don't want to work all the time.
- People seeking balance (between work and pleasure, between giving and taking, between passion and income).
- People who want to discuss, clarify and create goals for business and personal advancement.
WHAT I CAN HELP WITH:
- Helping you to figure out your goals, short/ long term, business/personal.
- Helping you create a schedule that works for you, that encourages you to thrive.
- Helping you organize your life, your priorities and your time.
- Mapping out and achieving your financial goals, both business and personal.
- Helping you to understand and honor your strengths and adapt to and work with your weaknesses.
- Helping you to realize that you are full of skills and amazing qualities that need to shine.
- Listening and processing along side you.
More HERE.
Must you know more? Read on...
Oh Snap, What Have I Done #wordlesswednesday
The offer is in... Let the waiting begin...
The offer is in... Let the waiting begin...
Organizing - My Brain
I am telling you the truth when I say that somedays I wish I could hire myself. I spent the last two days wrestling with pregnancy hormones and trying to sort out my plan of attack. Guess what?
I am telling you the truth when I say that somedays I wish I could hire myself. I spent the last two days wrestling with pregnancy hormones and trying to sort out my plan of attack. Guess what?
I didn't get there yet. And that's okay. Or at least, that's what I'd tell you. So that's what I am telling myself. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Allow space for these feelings, allow things to be DIFFERENT. I am choosing to allow myself to be DIFFERENT then I perceive myself to "normally" be. I tend to be very clear when it comes to my (or your) plan of action. These last few days, I can see yours clearly, but not mine. Can I roll with that? Can I make lists and watch the rain and read Dr. Seuss to my daughter and do some laundry and ignore some dishes and make something with my hands? Can I give myself the chance to NOT BE ORGANIZED OR EFFICIENT?
I'd like to try to let these feelings just float around and not attach to them. Not to struggle against the flow. Not to try to understand the WHY of it all. I'm gonna give it a shot and just keep repeating these words: Allow, alllow, allow. Don't judge, don't justify. Allow, allow, allow.
How do you adapt when you are not feeling like yourself?
Do you use inspiration? THIS print about songbirds and roots inspires me.
I Needed a Little Inspiration (& another GIVEAWAY)
I know I am not the only one, right? Right?
The one who lags during some weird eclipse. Or who doesn't want to get up in the morning from time to time. Or feels more like yoga than sitting at her desk (or that doesn't feel like yoga but feels like sitting at her desk.)
I know I am not the only one, right? Right?
The one who lags during some weird eclipse. Or who doesn't want to get up in the morning from time to time. Or feels more like yoga than sitting at her desk (or that doesn't feel like yoga but feels like sitting at her desk.)
I know you lurk out there with your off days too. It's not a secret you can keep from me. Nor one that I want to keep from you! I created these prints to help me through times that I needed a reminder (can you tell I really like reminders) of something or other. A little inspiration and a few deep breaths helps me. it helps me a lot. So I wanted to share with you.
I now offer for sale a set of five 4"x4" prints for $4.95 or, you can get a dozen for $9.95.
Check them out HERE.
Comment below with which one is your favorite. Next Friday I'll mail a few out to some lucky winners. Share for an additional entry.
Speed / Pace / Time & Breath
I work fast. So fast, so well, so effortlessly. But only SOMETIMES. Those times I am in what I (and others) call: THE ZONE.
One trick about FAST TIME is you have to balance it with SLOW TIME. You just can't move fast all of the time. And so many people ask me how I get done all that I get done. The trick is the balance with SLOW TIME. Productive fast time is only as good as your slow time...
I work fast. So fast, so well, so effortlessly. But only SOMETIMES. Those times I am in what I (and others) call: THE ZONE.
One trick about FAST TIME is you have to balance it with SLOW TIME. You just can't move fast all of the time. And so many people ask me how I get done all that I get done. The trick is the balance with SLOW TIME. Productive fast time is only as good as your slow time.
Want to learn to practice some slow time? Here are a two simple starting steps:
STEP ONE: Notice what you are doing. While you are eating are you eating only? Or are you multitasking? If you are multitasking, that's fine, we are not judging, just noticing. When you are in the shower, are you cleaning your body or are you also reviewing some conversation you had earlier?
STEP TWO: Begin to practice some single tasking. Do ONE thing at a time and allow your body and mind to change rhythms. Today when I wrote this post, I closed all other computer windows, turned off my phone, and just. simply. wrote.
What will you do to single task today? Even for a moment, it counts. Practice slow time and feel the change of pace.
Some good thoughts on productivity HERE.