People Making Pasta in My Artless Kitchen
Artless kitchen because we are MOVING and everything is in boxes (almost).
Pasta because Chris' brother is here making Spaetzle. Like macaroni and cheese, only better.
And I am warning you,
I am FEELING LOST.
Artless kitchen because we are MOVING and everything is in boxes (almost).
Pasta because Chris' brother is here making Spaetzle. Like macaroni and cheese, only better. And anything with cheese always makes me happy.
And I am warning you,
I am FEELING LOST.
I seem to have forgotten, until today, just how sad moving makes me. I walk around despairing the loss of views through windows, the squeaks of doors and floorboards, the feeling of a door handle in the dark, the shape of the ceiling fan's shadows. I feel heartbroken and mournful. Like leaving a lover, like death, like change.
I know it's like passing from maiden to mother, from mother to crone. I know it's like leaving a job and clearing your desk and cutting your hair. I know it's the jacket that got left in the nightclub, the tattoo drawn but never inked.
Loss. Emptiness. Abandon.
So, I'll hold my babies close, look out this window for the last time, and feel the ground beneath my feet.
Change and challenge. Prevail.
Because you are here already, you might as well keep reading:
BLOG
Oh Snap, What Have I Done #wordlesswednesday
about 4 months ago
Passive Income like a Mother*ucker
about 4 months ago
The Hustle. (I'm a Hustler, Baby. I Just Want You to Know)
about 6 months ago
I'm The Mom Your Mother Warned You About
- I'll show you mine if you show me yours. I think the top of my ToDO list should read: "Things not ToDo: Go Crazy."
Whoops, already am.
“Honey, you don’t know shit about someone till they show you your ToDo list. So don’t judge. ”
I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
I think the top of my ToDO list should read: "Things not ToDo: Go Crazy."
Whoops, already am.
I have a meltdown level amount of things to do. And then there are those pesky things like work, eating, shopping, bathing, cooking, meditating, exercising, etc.
And you know what my secret is to getting all of this done? I'll tell you:
DO ONE THING AT A TIME.
I am very, very, very, very, very serious. When shit gets really craycray, slow it down. It is IMPOSSIBLE to do more than one thing at once. Focus people. Pay attention. I'm out.
Interested? Keep reading:
Island Life
So the deal is this: A bunch of my family bought property here, on Block Island, in the 70's and 80's. The land was dirt cheap and the island pretty inaccessible. That's all changed.
So the deal is this: A bunch of my family bought property here, on Block Island, in the 70's and 80's. The land was dirt cheap and the island pretty inaccessible. That's all changed. It's a booming tourist industry where land is unbelievably expensive and the tourist population runs wild. While my family used to own cool retail stores, they now rent their properties. This place is how I got turned on the the rental & real estate business. So typically, our houses are rented in summertime – and thats okay with me. After the tourists leave an the seasons begin to shift the island becomes ours once again. Fall out here can be warm, swimming, leisure days or blustery stew and fireplace weather. Totally unpredictable, totally perfect. Picking pears and apples, making pie, eating beef stew in front of a crackling fire. Tanning on the deck, taking outdoor showers, walking down the beach. Is this the life?
I am so
lucky
to have the life flexibility I have. Thank you internet (ahh, online businesses). Thank you Nicole (my trusty assistant). So, if you need me, catch me online; I'm on
island time.
Mmmm, blog lovin'. More here:
Giving Up - with a side of beginning, as per usual
Oof. I am depressed today about being able to do way less of my work then I am used to doing. I have no more than 15 minutes to myself at a time. Sometimes less. I knew this was coming, but not how much it would pull the rug out from under me.
Oof. I am depressed today about being able to do way less of my work then I am used to doing. I have no more than 15 minutes to myself at a time. Sometimes less. I knew this was coming, but not how much it would pull the rug out from under me.
Obligations shift.
This baby is different than I expected. (I know, right, expectations, ha!) I know it is just a transition. But I seriously LOVE what I do for work. I adore helping clients, organizing peoples brains, giving them a glimpse of clarity.
I thrive on being creative, thinking and then actualizing my ideas. (I have a new one cooking).
What do you thrive on?
Not that I don't love being awake for more than half the night (what incredible thinking time, scheming time!), but I know I am looking at dialing back my private work time and integrating much more with family time. Two kids is no joke; A three year old and a baby that needs to be carried and walked all.the.time.
I love sleep. I love going to bed early and waking up late. I love naps. I love days where you get more than one nap. None of this remarkable sleep stuff really happens for me anymore. I look at teenagers on the street and the green eyes monster awakens in me. 12 hours plus! Joy!
But, my friends, that's not how it is meant to be for me, right now. Sleep and work, my two favorites; I must
SURRENDER.
And ACCEPT.
So, what's the lesson here? What can I (what can you) learn when obligations shift? When things are different then our expectations.
Shit is gonna change. And that's that.
Breathe it in, ride the waves, roll with it. New kid? New house? New job? Death? Birth? Pain? Whatever it is, the answer is the same. Live it. Fighting it won't change it and it sure as hell won't make it prettier.
Here's what I am doing a lot of now: Making $$ off of how I spend my days. Today: CLOTH DIAPERS
Liking what I have to say? Try these posts:
I Am Tired of Writing About Mom Shit (GIVEAWAY!)
Today was fine.
It was a regular day (guitar string bracelets, building websites, booking clients, wiping poopy bums, eating, doing laundry, paying bills, painting trim, going to pediatrician, vacuuming, taking the dogs out, selling cloth diapers online, taking pictures of my food, talking to my employees, yelling at my husband, scheduling email blasts, planning sales for holiday season) and it was fine.
Today was fine.
It was a regular day (guitar string bracelets, building websites, booking clients, wiping poopy bums, eating, doing laundry, paying bills, painting trim, going to pediatrician, vacuuming, taking the dogs out, selling cloth diapers online, taking pictures of my food, talking to my employees, yelling at my husband, scheduling email blasts, planning sales for holiday season) and it was fine. Did I mention that already? I don't want to look a fine gift horse in the mouth, because there are PLENTY of days (trust me) when fine would have been FREAKING AMAZING. But lately these fine kind of busy, half-asleep days are kinda lackluster.
I want something REALLY exciting to happen.
(I think I am, like, an excitement junkie at this point – cause buying a house and having a baby aren't exciting enough?)
And so I think. What would I like? What would be exciting? Well, my answer is this: Something that wasn't mom shit. It's not that I don't love my kids (I do), it's not that I am not an asshole (I am), it's just that some days I am bored and I miss throwing myself FULL FORCE into my business.
So, in order to jumpstart my process and carve out the time I need for my business, I am doing something I've never done before. I am
giving away a
free mini session. Gulp.
Are you interested?
Choose from these phone/skype session options:
- 30 Minutes to Goal Planning
- 30 Minutes to Computer Sanity
- 30 Minutes to Time Management
- 30 Minutes to Inspiration
- 30 Minutes to Money Smarts
- 30 Minutes to Self Care
TO ENTER: All you've got to do is tell me why you need it. Either comment below or email me if you'd prefer to keep it private. A week from this post (10/10) I'll pick the winner and we can schedule your session!
Good luck! And do, go, share with your friends.
BY WAY OF REMINDER...
WHO MY CLIENTS ARE:
- People who are interested in being fulfilled, having the "good life."
- People who want to live in accordance with what they value.
- People who are willing to work hard, but don't want to work all the time.
- People seeking balance (between work and pleasure, between giving and taking, between passion and income).
- People who want to discuss, clarify and create goals for business and personal advancement.
WHAT I CAN HELP WITH:
- Helping you to figure out your goals, short/ long term, business/personal.
- Helping you create a schedule that works for you, that encourages you to thrive.
- Helping you organize your life, your priorities and your time.
- Mapping out and achieving your financial goals, both business and personal.
- Helping you to understand and honor your strengths and adapt to and work with your weaknesses.
- Helping you to realize that you are full of skills and amazing qualities that need to shine.
- Listening and processing along side you.
More HERE.
Must you know more? Read on...
One Hundred and Eighty Degree Turn - Country Mouse/City Mouse
Okay, so remember how I said I bought some land in the woods and was building a house? And I was going to have a big garden and a big freezer and my dogs and kids were going to run around and get dirty and do tick checks? Well, hmm that was ONE vision...
Okay, so remember how I said I bought some land in the woods and was building a house? And I was going to have a big garden and a big freezer and my dogs and kids were going to run around and get dirty and do tick checks? Well, hmm that was ONE vision...
Then last week we found a house in the city (Providence) for the right price – and we put in an offer. So now we are going to envision ourselves as urban. Walking my kids to the playground, driving less, not needing two cars, getting culture, socializing.
How is it possible that we (the infamous hubs and I) can want these two polar opposites? How can we be country mice and city mice? Don't we have to choose? Aren't we crazy to switch tracks in ONE WEEK? Is this irresponsible? Impulsive?
I usually won't even go to the grocery store without planning, is this my version of spontaneity? Was just having a baby not enough?
Well, I tend to reflect upon my decisions by how they make me feel. And this house makes me feel like a ROCKSTAR. Seriously, the weight of building (yes, totally and awesome project that WILL happen at some point) is OFF me. You mean, this house is FINISHED and I can MOVE RIGHT in? Oh my beautiful deity, whoever you are, thank you thank you.
<Insert IMMENSE gratitude here>
So, it's 180 and this isn't twister. Its a turn towards simplicity, ease, and the creation of space. I want time to love my kids, I want time to build my business, time to write, time to love my husband, time to grow. So don't judge my speed, commend my values instead. And keep your fingers crossed we get yet another mortgage.
When we do, come over for dinner, won't you?
So you like it? Try these:
Because I'm Stuck and I Suck. 3 Ways to UNSTICK and Feel Less Sucky.
But as per my usual style, I bit off quite a lot and then added a whole extra heap on top of that. And every time I carve out time for working on these sessions I AM STUCK. That's right. Writer's block. Idea freeze. Brain mush. Major distraction. Thoughtless. Sleepy. Confused. STUCK. Like seriously-cannot-take-one-step-further STUCK.
I am supposed to launch a whole series of these 30 minutes to... sessions in the END OF SEPTEMBER. Who planned this? (I did. Oops).
Well, supposed to because I decided I would as part of my GRAND MASTER PLAN. Well, and also because I have some people waiting patiently to sign up for them.
But as per my usual style, I bit off quite a lot and then added a whole extra heap on top of that. And every time I carve out time for working on these sessions I AM STUCK. That's right. Writer's block. Idea freeze. Brain mush. Major distraction. Thoughtless. Sleepy. Confused. STUCK. Like seriously-cannot-take-one-step-further STUCK.
Oh woe-is-me. This isn't supposed to happen to me. Yeah, right. I am perfect. If I get stuck, then how am I supposed to UNSTICK others. Hello! Experience! Self doubt, self doubt, insert a whole bunch of self doubt here. Which, of course, makes it more sticky!
So, what do I do? I back out gently. I look over my shoulder. I stop channeling the self doubt fairy. I stop questioning. I just stop and step backwards out of the hole. Or just away from the hole. Or just to the other side of the hole. You know the feeling when you are digging yourself deeper. Can you be brave enough to stop pushing against a boulder? Can you respect yourself enough to back the fuck up?
So here's me. Stuck and spiraling with it. And here is what I did. And here's where I am now:
1) REALIZE YOU ARE STUCK. You might say it out loud, "whoops, there I go, beating a dead horse." Or just write it out. Admit it. I AM STUCK. Then stop there – don't ask why, don't ask how to unstick. Just NOTE it. I am stuck. Then shrug. And for fuck's sake don't start analyzing. That's probably how you got here in the first place! OVERTHINK much?
2) BACK OUT / TIME OUT. You are not gonna write these session descriptions right now, Hannah. Your attitude is piss poor and inefficient. Go fold the laundry. Go have a snack. Go do ANYTHING ELSE. Meditation would be good. While you are doing that thing, please don't think that YOU SHOULD BE WRITING THOSE SESSION DESCRIPTIONS. Back out of the task that got you here in the first place. Take a shower. You suck at this right now, and that's okay
3) RE-ENTER. HEAD OPPOSITE. Whatever you were doing, it wasn't working. So, approach it from the other direction. I was feeling uninspired and time pressured to launch these sessions. So I ran harder, like a bull at the deadline. Aaaand, that didn't work. So, (after my realization of my stuckness and backing out of the task) I decided to do the opposite. I'd launch these for yearend, not the end of September. When I felt like rushing, I'd go slower. So, if you are feeling slow – do the opposite and set a deadline and rush towards it. What's the harm in trying a 180? You just might find that the opposite approach gets you to the same goal. Once I let off the pressure, the inspiration and joy began to flow back into my session descriptions. I am so excited to share them with you soon, but not as soon as I thought :)
So now, I am feeling good. I am unstuck and I don't suck. Try it for yourself. Suck-less and flow. I believe in you!
Enjoying my potty mouth? You might like some of these posts too:
Oh Snap, What Have I Done #wordlesswednesday
The offer is in... Let the waiting begin...
The offer is in... Let the waiting begin...
I Used to Write a LOT of Poetry
It feels like an admission of guilt. "I used to write a lot of poetry."
I think it's a weakness. "I used to write a lot of poetry."
I am embarrassed to say: "I used to write a lot of poetry."
It feels like an admission of guilt. "I used to write a lot of poetry."
I think it's a weakness. "I used to write a lot of poetry."
I am embarrassed to say: "I used to write a lot of poetry."
But it is true.
So here goes. Here I go again:
For you both I would,
give up all self.
But I can't, because you need me
as me. Imperfect, yet whole.
The heart cracks and we draw with chalk, making virtues of the fissures.
"My mother taught me this," I say.
"My mother taught me this," you'll say.
Each one of us, desperately intertwined, kicking the net.
A few great things happen each lifetime. These are mine.
Because you like this. You might also like:
BLOG
Bitchy Little Critic:: Your Inner Voice
about 2 weeks ago
I am 32 and I Just Used Body Wash for the First Time
about 3 weeks ago
about a month ago
On Blogging, A Conversation
I got this message from a friend and colleague:
"Ya know. I'm not sure whether I love or hate the fact you send me mass emails about what's going on in your life."
I got this message from a friend and colleague:
"Ya know. I'm not sure whether I love or hate the fact you send me mass emails about what's going on in your life."
I wrote back:
"You love it. I know you love it. At least you know they are mass emails. You don't know how many responses I get from people who think I am personally writing to them."
He says:
"That's because you're the only person that has given their personal life a brand. Lots of people don't exactly understand what you're doing. Your the only real person that they know who is doing this. Let's compare you to Martha Stewart. Your friends and family get a branded email from her and they know it is an ad because she is unreal. When they get a similar style of message from you. (Obviously you're not selling bed skirts) but when they see a message from you, they don't know what to make of it. Because you're real to them. Don't get me wrong. I admire what you're doing and what you've created. And I think you need to continue doing exactly what you're doing. I'd call you a lifestyle maven."
I am giving myself six months of playing with categories and writing styles and links and tagging and SEO to just kind of explore in public what my goals and purposes are thru blogging.
- Am I trying to update people on what's up in my daily life?
- Am I trying to help people live their lives?
- Is this only for business people?
- Is this targeted at moms only, self employed only?
- Who it the market? Who is the readership?
This is how he clarified it for me:
"I think it boils down to this. 80% of the people I know have been bred to believe that a 9-5 lifestyle is the only way to get the things they want. But you've made a different way work for yourself and your family. Not to say you don't work your ass off trying to do it. But you do it your own way. That's an incredibly appealing idea for people. And to give some insight into how they might do that for themselves is a great opportunity for you. Believe it or not you are sort of living some people's dream. You didn't have to become famous or incredibly wealthy in order to live how you want. And you didn't have to subscribe to some big companies ideals."
"That. AND showing off your own style. Modern with a touch of vintage, artistic and functional, family oriented. "
"If I were you my mission statement would be: 'This is what I have put together for myself, this is how I've done it. You can too.'"
And it is true...I Want To Show You How I Live The Dream.
