I AM:: Scattered, A Hot Mess
Fuck it, man. I am really good at a few things. But not today. Well, maybe this morning. But not today. Maybe a little bit in the afternoon. But not today. The evening kinda crumbled, but when I had to be I was still:
pretty fucking good.
Right, right? Isn't that what I would tell you to say to yourself? Even when (and that when, for me, is RIGHT NOW) you feel completely scattered and like you are doing not one bit of good. What do I usually say?
Become present and SLOW DOWN.
That's it, have I drilled it home? That's what I should do. That's what you need to do. Plant feet. On earth. Focus eyes. Downward. Drink a glass of water. I am going to remind us, together, again and again. Until we listen and really hear. Until we relapse and speed up and I say, "Hey. Wait. Look at me. Slow down." NOURISH YOURSELF. PLEASE. It will make the world a better place. You can't
runabusiness.bealive.raiseyourbabies.thinkgoodthoughts
unless you learn this VERY basic but not so easy coping skill. Everything is telling you to multitask. To connect. Fast. Instant Message. Constant contact. Go, go, go.
Who tells you to go take a nap? To stick your feet in some grass, or some fluffy socks? To take care of your damn self because that is the
BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR ANYBODY else.
I DO. I am telling you. It's your job. Your first job. Your only real job. Take care of your scattered hot mess self. Do it however you know how. If you don't know how:: learn. NOW. It's past time.
Make it a New Year's resolution, join a cult, take my self care session. I don't care how you get there as long as you get to care. Take a step in that direction and DO IT RIGHT NOW. There is no time to waste.
Was it an excuse? You have to do what? Someone needs what? Screw it. At least for a minute.
Signs of Fall
I love fall. I love the turning in the inspiration of pinterest, brisk walks, glowing leaves. It's a transition I am really, really good at. It's the shit that makes my soul glow.
I love fall. I love the turning in the inspiration of pinterest, brisk walks, glowing leaves. It's a transition I am really, really good at. It's the shit that makes my soul glow.
Different people thrive in different seasons. This is mine, but what's yours? What feels real to you? Which shift do you wait for, dream about, embrace and revel in?
Keep reading:
BLOG
about 2 weeks ago
about 3 months ago
By Popular Demand: Mini Computer Help Session
about 5 months ago
Why I Put Shit in My Washing Machine
And why, my dearest dears, is this worthy of writing about? What does it have to do with PRACTICAL MINDFULNESS? Well, firstly, it
helps you know me better.
And that is useful because, why would you trust me to help you if I didn't share some of myself. (This has always been my problem with shrinks, by the way. You know they are crazy too, but they can't tell you anything about their crazy!) Luckily, I can tell you
ALL ABOUT MY CRAZY!
While I am up nursing at night I stalk cloth diaper swap boards. It is very strange and OCD and surreal and quiet and I adore it. It's like a shopping addiction where I don't buy anything and get an education. I want to admit this to you because we
ALL NEED strange addictions that CALM US and make us happy.
Seriously. People play candy crush, they Pinterest, the read recipes they'll never make. And I say, more power to you! Let your freak flag fly. Whatever it is,
go out there get a brainless, awesome, calming, addiction.
Don't let it eat you. Don't let it suck you dry. Just use it in moderation, at the right time, to work it's happy magic. And keep it in your back pocket as a COPING SKILL.
Fuck high school and algebra, these are the lessons we need.
How to make it through life. How stalking a cloth diaper swap board helps me keep my cool through six plus weeks of a baby who grunts and cries at me ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG.
Okay, so my tips-and-tricks-for-living-a successful-life-in-a-practical-and-awesome-manner portion of this blog post is done. Now I am going to actually spend some time talking about cloth diapers. So bug out here if you don't care about the environment, or my baby's ass.
Some details on cloth diapers...
- I have not had to fill up my trash can with stinky ass diapers. (6,500 - 10,000 per kid for 2.5 years of diapering).
- I have not had to put super toxic absorptive gel crap next to the man parts of my itsy bitsy boy. (I also use lady cloth, but thats getting a bit personal, even for me).
- I have saved TONS of money. Diapers (especially the non-kill-your-baby-balls kind) are WICKED expensive. I used prefolds and covers, and I buy USED. It's cheap yo. My other top favorite is Grovia Hybrid diapers.
- I get to make fun things on my sewing machine, like cloth wipes.
- I have a wipes warmer - meaning I can wipe my face and hands with a warm towel any time of day or night without running excessive water and waiting for my on demand water heater to heat some up and use tons of electricity.
- I buy my supplies used and resell when I am done. Less stuff in the world. Boo yah!
- It's easy. Like, seriously, even my husband can cope with it.
- It's cool. Seriously, copy me.
- Want serious waste stats? CLICK HERE and read.
Life Lite – Live Light
Oh it is the fifth trip to sal–army this week to drop off bags and bags and it feels so amazing. What is it about lightening the load that makes me feel like a balloon? That makes me feel like this:
Oh it is the fifth trip to sal–army this week to drop off bags and bags and it feels so amazing. What is it about lightening the load that makes me feel like a balloon? That makes me feel like this:
Just a station wagon and some nalgene bottles. And a whole lot of love. But what I remember was the
LIGHTNESS.
Actually, scratch that. I am just pretending to remember lightness. I think I was pretty stressed at the time.
But back to LIGHTENING THE LOAD. Gosh, every bag I donate, every unused bunt pan, serving spoon, stuffed animal, and three hole punch – I levitate a little more. I feel
SPACE OPEN.
This is how I want to feel.
Clean, able to breathe, able to move and flow, inspired, soft, thankful.
I love identifying this. Realizing how profoundly space impacts me. How I love light shining off of golden wood floors.
My next tenant will move to the amazing space you see below. I love this, this offering of space. This way I collect money to support my family, in exchange for space.
ENTER THE GIVEAWAY HERE!
Like this stuff? Maybe you'll like this stuff:
Because I'm Stuck and I Suck. 3 Ways to UNSTICK and Feel Less Sucky.
But as per my usual style, I bit off quite a lot and then added a whole extra heap on top of that. And every time I carve out time for working on these sessions I AM STUCK. That's right. Writer's block. Idea freeze. Brain mush. Major distraction. Thoughtless. Sleepy. Confused. STUCK. Like seriously-cannot-take-one-step-further STUCK.
I am supposed to launch a whole series of these 30 minutes to... sessions in the END OF SEPTEMBER. Who planned this? (I did. Oops).
Well, supposed to because I decided I would as part of my GRAND MASTER PLAN. Well, and also because I have some people waiting patiently to sign up for them.
But as per my usual style, I bit off quite a lot and then added a whole extra heap on top of that. And every time I carve out time for working on these sessions I AM STUCK. That's right. Writer's block. Idea freeze. Brain mush. Major distraction. Thoughtless. Sleepy. Confused. STUCK. Like seriously-cannot-take-one-step-further STUCK.
Oh woe-is-me. This isn't supposed to happen to me. Yeah, right. I am perfect. If I get stuck, then how am I supposed to UNSTICK others. Hello! Experience! Self doubt, self doubt, insert a whole bunch of self doubt here. Which, of course, makes it more sticky!
So, what do I do? I back out gently. I look over my shoulder. I stop channeling the self doubt fairy. I stop questioning. I just stop and step backwards out of the hole. Or just away from the hole. Or just to the other side of the hole. You know the feeling when you are digging yourself deeper. Can you be brave enough to stop pushing against a boulder? Can you respect yourself enough to back the fuck up?
So here's me. Stuck and spiraling with it. And here is what I did. And here's where I am now:
1) REALIZE YOU ARE STUCK. You might say it out loud, "whoops, there I go, beating a dead horse." Or just write it out. Admit it. I AM STUCK. Then stop there – don't ask why, don't ask how to unstick. Just NOTE it. I am stuck. Then shrug. And for fuck's sake don't start analyzing. That's probably how you got here in the first place! OVERTHINK much?
2) BACK OUT / TIME OUT. You are not gonna write these session descriptions right now, Hannah. Your attitude is piss poor and inefficient. Go fold the laundry. Go have a snack. Go do ANYTHING ELSE. Meditation would be good. While you are doing that thing, please don't think that YOU SHOULD BE WRITING THOSE SESSION DESCRIPTIONS. Back out of the task that got you here in the first place. Take a shower. You suck at this right now, and that's okay
3) RE-ENTER. HEAD OPPOSITE. Whatever you were doing, it wasn't working. So, approach it from the other direction. I was feeling uninspired and time pressured to launch these sessions. So I ran harder, like a bull at the deadline. Aaaand, that didn't work. So, (after my realization of my stuckness and backing out of the task) I decided to do the opposite. I'd launch these for yearend, not the end of September. When I felt like rushing, I'd go slower. So, if you are feeling slow – do the opposite and set a deadline and rush towards it. What's the harm in trying a 180? You just might find that the opposite approach gets you to the same goal. Once I let off the pressure, the inspiration and joy began to flow back into my session descriptions. I am so excited to share them with you soon, but not as soon as I thought :)
So now, I am feeling good. I am unstuck and I don't suck. Try it for yourself. Suck-less and flow. I believe in you!
Enjoying my potty mouth? You might like some of these posts too:
Kindness (something bitches can also try)
I am kind of a bitch. But I TRY to be a kind bitch. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. When I am pregnant or otherwise hormonal, it is even harder.
I curse a lot. I am VERY bossy. I am mostly right about everything, all the time.
These are things I am striving for:
I am kind of a bitch. But I TRY to be a kind bitch. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. When I am pregnant or otherwise hormonal, it is even harder.
I curse a lot. I am VERY bossy. I am mostly right about everything, all the time.
These are things I am striving for:
Humility, softness, receptiveness, humility. Not being convinced that I am always right. And just plain being nice. Using a nice tone of voice. Not getting exasperated. Being HUMBLE and not bratty.
If you have never, ever, ever, ever clicked on a link I posted, please consider reading This Article. It is wonderful and will make you feel warm and fuzzy. Kinda like this kid, who makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
Homecoming - Mess on Display
I love coming home.
I don't sleep. I wander around and touch my stuff. And wade thru dog fur.
I love coming home.
I don't sleep. I wander around and touch my stuff. And wade thru dog fur.
The mess doesn't bother me. Piles seem exciting. Inviting. I start thinking of new filing cabinets. I want to order glass jars for my tea. I wish my label maker did more fonts.
I take in small details. The fat blueberries in my oatmeal. Her blue eyes.
How can you approach something with freshnesss, with newness? Can you do just a little today?
Listening versus Hearing (or, why my house is so sandy)
I am out here on the island, eight months pregnant and on my own with a toddler and two dogs. The dogs have been walked daily, the kid is happy and fed and lathered with sunscreen. I've cooked all the meals and done all the dishes sans dishwasher. I feel pretty damn swell about it all. I've even been rocking a bikini.
I am out here on the island, eight months pregnant and on my own with a toddler and two dogs. The dogs have been walked daily, the kid is happy and fed and lathered with sunscreen. I've cooked all the meals and done all the dishes sans dishwasher. I feel pretty damn swell about it all. I've even been rocking a bikini.
I am living in my dad's old house, that I grew up in, but that he no longer lives in, but his girlfriend (one of my half brother's mothers), has fixed up beautifully. You got that? One day I'll try to draw a family tree...(currently I keep the info HERE.) The thing is, it has been rainy and sand seems to stick to rain. To the dogs, to my clothes, to the kid's shoes. And also, it is hot, which, means dogs shed. So, the house has a slight issue with dog fur and sand that I haven't quite gotten to.
My stepmom cleans houses on Saturdays in the summer for rental turnovers. And before her full day of work offered to come over, and clean my/her house. She phrased it as a gesture of love, not judgement. Isn't that sweet?
How do you offer to do something for someone, as a kindness, without seeming like you are judging their ability?
Check out the colors of the house, amazing, no? Maybe you should have her come do your color palette for your house! Oh, and speaking of colors. My friend of almost 20 years is giving away some of her luscious yarn, hand-dyed in Alaska, along with some other goodies. Check it out and enter HERE - it is FREE! (She also wrote soem really nice things about me HERE, gloat.)
I Want to Sit My Ass in a Chair
I want help, I want company, I want to sit my ass in a chair. Simultaneously, I want to move, I want to dig a sand castle, I want to walk really, really, really far into the fog, I want to have a mudslide and then a nap.
I want help, I want company, I want to sit my ass in a chair. Simultaneously, I want to move, I want to dig a sand castle, I want to walk really, really, really far into the fog, I want to have a mudslide and then a nap. My friend's dad used to always sing to her, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need." Is it true? Do you get what you need? I think, sometimes, we want something so badly, that it's the wanting that causes the distress. I'm not capable at bending the world to my will, it's a shame. I can set my intentions, but I can't always get what I want. So, what's the plan?
This comes up for me, yes, of course. But, I also see it come up for so many of my clients. An unmet want can be an opportunity to clear up a lot of stuff and reorient ourselves. If you find something you want and can't have (or at least don't know how to get there) here is a quick cheat sheet to make some progress out of it:
1) Identifying what it is that you want. Sometimes it is not very simple. Dig below the surface.
Today I want to be taken care of. I want to be nurtured.
2) Try to figure out what is missing. What is the unmet need beneath your want?
What's missing is me taking care of myself.
3) Gift yourself something (mine idea here) that meets your unmet need. Then check back in with your want and see how it is doing.
I am making iced tea. And scheduling a pedicure.
I Needed a Little Inspiration (& another GIVEAWAY)
I know I am not the only one, right? Right?
The one who lags during some weird eclipse. Or who doesn't want to get up in the morning from time to time. Or feels more like yoga than sitting at her desk (or that doesn't feel like yoga but feels like sitting at her desk.)
I know I am not the only one, right? Right?
The one who lags during some weird eclipse. Or who doesn't want to get up in the morning from time to time. Or feels more like yoga than sitting at her desk (or that doesn't feel like yoga but feels like sitting at her desk.)
I know you lurk out there with your off days too. It's not a secret you can keep from me. Nor one that I want to keep from you! I created these prints to help me through times that I needed a reminder (can you tell I really like reminders) of something or other. A little inspiration and a few deep breaths helps me. it helps me a lot. So I wanted to share with you.
I now offer for sale a set of five 4"x4" prints for $4.95 or, you can get a dozen for $9.95.
Check them out HERE.
Comment below with which one is your favorite. Next Friday I'll mail a few out to some lucky winners. Share for an additional entry.