Giving Up - with a side of beginning, as per usual
Oof. I am depressed today about being able to do way less of my work then I am used to doing. I have no more than 15 minutes to myself at a time. Sometimes less. I knew this was coming, but not how much it would pull the rug out from under me.
Oof. I am depressed today about being able to do way less of my work then I am used to doing. I have no more than 15 minutes to myself at a time. Sometimes less. I knew this was coming, but not how much it would pull the rug out from under me.
Obligations shift.
This baby is different than I expected. (I know, right, expectations, ha!) I know it is just a transition. But I seriously LOVE what I do for work. I adore helping clients, organizing peoples brains, giving them a glimpse of clarity.
I thrive on being creative, thinking and then actualizing my ideas. (I have a new one cooking).
What do you thrive on?
Not that I don't love being awake for more than half the night (what incredible thinking time, scheming time!), but I know I am looking at dialing back my private work time and integrating much more with family time. Two kids is no joke; A three year old and a baby that needs to be carried and walked all.the.time.
I love sleep. I love going to bed early and waking up late. I love naps. I love days where you get more than one nap. None of this remarkable sleep stuff really happens for me anymore. I look at teenagers on the street and the green eyes monster awakens in me. 12 hours plus! Joy!
But, my friends, that's not how it is meant to be for me, right now. Sleep and work, my two favorites; I must
SURRENDER.
And ACCEPT.
So, what's the lesson here? What can I (what can you) learn when obligations shift? When things are different then our expectations.
Shit is gonna change. And that's that.
Breathe it in, ride the waves, roll with it. New kid? New house? New job? Death? Birth? Pain? Whatever it is, the answer is the same. Live it. Fighting it won't change it and it sure as hell won't make it prettier.
Here's what I am doing a lot of now: Making $$ off of how I spend my days. Today: CLOTH DIAPERS
Liking what I have to say? Try these posts:
And the WINNER is...
Thank you so much everyone for entering!
I loved hearing from you so much and I want to meet you ALL! So, anyone who entered to win a FREE mini session is eligible for 50% off your first mini session! Book your mini session online (http://www.hwgarrison.com/mini-sessions) any time in the next week and enter code QRPWCWU at checkout!
Thank you so much everyone for entering!
I loved hearing from you so much and I want to meet you ALL! So, anyone who entered to win a FREE mini session is eligible for 50% off your first mini session! Book your mini session online (http://www.hwgarrison.com/mini-sessions) any time in the next week and enter code QRPWCWU at checkout!
The winner of the FREE SESSION is Crysten Scarpinato! Congrats! Crysten, please contact me at hannah@hwgarrison.com to set up your FREE MINI SESSION!
Why I Put Shit in My Washing Machine
And why, my dearest dears, is this worthy of writing about? What does it have to do with PRACTICAL MINDFULNESS? Well, firstly, it
helps you know me better.
And that is useful because, why would you trust me to help you if I didn't share some of myself. (This has always been my problem with shrinks, by the way. You know they are crazy too, but they can't tell you anything about their crazy!) Luckily, I can tell you
ALL ABOUT MY CRAZY!
While I am up nursing at night I stalk cloth diaper swap boards. It is very strange and OCD and surreal and quiet and I adore it. It's like a shopping addiction where I don't buy anything and get an education. I want to admit this to you because we
ALL NEED strange addictions that CALM US and make us happy.
Seriously. People play candy crush, they Pinterest, the read recipes they'll never make. And I say, more power to you! Let your freak flag fly. Whatever it is,
go out there get a brainless, awesome, calming, addiction.
Don't let it eat you. Don't let it suck you dry. Just use it in moderation, at the right time, to work it's happy magic. And keep it in your back pocket as a COPING SKILL.
Fuck high school and algebra, these are the lessons we need.
How to make it through life. How stalking a cloth diaper swap board helps me keep my cool through six plus weeks of a baby who grunts and cries at me ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG.
Okay, so my tips-and-tricks-for-living-a successful-life-in-a-practical-and-awesome-manner portion of this blog post is done. Now I am going to actually spend some time talking about cloth diapers. So bug out here if you don't care about the environment, or my baby's ass.
Some details on cloth diapers...
- I have not had to fill up my trash can with stinky ass diapers. (6,500 - 10,000 per kid for 2.5 years of diapering).
- I have not had to put super toxic absorptive gel crap next to the man parts of my itsy bitsy boy. (I also use lady cloth, but thats getting a bit personal, even for me).
- I have saved TONS of money. Diapers (especially the non-kill-your-baby-balls kind) are WICKED expensive. I used prefolds and covers, and I buy USED. It's cheap yo. My other top favorite is Grovia Hybrid diapers.
- I get to make fun things on my sewing machine, like cloth wipes.
- I have a wipes warmer - meaning I can wipe my face and hands with a warm towel any time of day or night without running excessive water and waiting for my on demand water heater to heat some up and use tons of electricity.
- I buy my supplies used and resell when I am done. Less stuff in the world. Boo yah!
- It's easy. Like, seriously, even my husband can cope with it.
- It's cool. Seriously, copy me.
- Want serious waste stats? CLICK HERE and read.
Life Lite – Live Light
Oh it is the fifth trip to sal–army this week to drop off bags and bags and it feels so amazing. What is it about lightening the load that makes me feel like a balloon? That makes me feel like this:
Oh it is the fifth trip to sal–army this week to drop off bags and bags and it feels so amazing. What is it about lightening the load that makes me feel like a balloon? That makes me feel like this:
Just a station wagon and some nalgene bottles. And a whole lot of love. But what I remember was the
LIGHTNESS.
Actually, scratch that. I am just pretending to remember lightness. I think I was pretty stressed at the time.
But back to LIGHTENING THE LOAD. Gosh, every bag I donate, every unused bunt pan, serving spoon, stuffed animal, and three hole punch – I levitate a little more. I feel
SPACE OPEN.
This is how I want to feel.
Clean, able to breathe, able to move and flow, inspired, soft, thankful.
I love identifying this. Realizing how profoundly space impacts me. How I love light shining off of golden wood floors.
My next tenant will move to the amazing space you see below. I love this, this offering of space. This way I collect money to support my family, in exchange for space.
ENTER THE GIVEAWAY HERE!
Like this stuff? Maybe you'll like this stuff:
I Am Tired of Writing About Mom Shit (GIVEAWAY!)
Today was fine.
It was a regular day (guitar string bracelets, building websites, booking clients, wiping poopy bums, eating, doing laundry, paying bills, painting trim, going to pediatrician, vacuuming, taking the dogs out, selling cloth diapers online, taking pictures of my food, talking to my employees, yelling at my husband, scheduling email blasts, planning sales for holiday season) and it was fine.
Today was fine.
It was a regular day (guitar string bracelets, building websites, booking clients, wiping poopy bums, eating, doing laundry, paying bills, painting trim, going to pediatrician, vacuuming, taking the dogs out, selling cloth diapers online, taking pictures of my food, talking to my employees, yelling at my husband, scheduling email blasts, planning sales for holiday season) and it was fine. Did I mention that already? I don't want to look a fine gift horse in the mouth, because there are PLENTY of days (trust me) when fine would have been FREAKING AMAZING. But lately these fine kind of busy, half-asleep days are kinda lackluster.
I want something REALLY exciting to happen.
(I think I am, like, an excitement junkie at this point – cause buying a house and having a baby aren't exciting enough?)
And so I think. What would I like? What would be exciting? Well, my answer is this: Something that wasn't mom shit. It's not that I don't love my kids (I do), it's not that I am not an asshole (I am), it's just that some days I am bored and I miss throwing myself FULL FORCE into my business.
So, in order to jumpstart my process and carve out the time I need for my business, I am doing something I've never done before. I am
giving away a
free mini session. Gulp.
Are you interested?
Choose from these phone/skype session options:
- 30 Minutes to Goal Planning
- 30 Minutes to Computer Sanity
- 30 Minutes to Time Management
- 30 Minutes to Inspiration
- 30 Minutes to Money Smarts
- 30 Minutes to Self Care
TO ENTER: All you've got to do is tell me why you need it. Either comment below or email me if you'd prefer to keep it private. A week from this post (10/10) I'll pick the winner and we can schedule your session!
Good luck! And do, go, share with your friends.
BY WAY OF REMINDER...
WHO MY CLIENTS ARE:
- People who are interested in being fulfilled, having the "good life."
- People who want to live in accordance with what they value.
- People who are willing to work hard, but don't want to work all the time.
- People seeking balance (between work and pleasure, between giving and taking, between passion and income).
- People who want to discuss, clarify and create goals for business and personal advancement.
WHAT I CAN HELP WITH:
- Helping you to figure out your goals, short/ long term, business/personal.
- Helping you create a schedule that works for you, that encourages you to thrive.
- Helping you organize your life, your priorities and your time.
- Mapping out and achieving your financial goals, both business and personal.
- Helping you to understand and honor your strengths and adapt to and work with your weaknesses.
- Helping you to realize that you are full of skills and amazing qualities that need to shine.
- Listening and processing along side you.
More HERE.
Must you know more? Read on...
Kind of #WordlessWednesday
This is my Dad's house...
That house we are buying...looks suspiciously like my Dad's place on Block Island...
One Hundred and Eighty Degree Turn - Country Mouse/City Mouse
Okay, so remember how I said I bought some land in the woods and was building a house? And I was going to have a big garden and a big freezer and my dogs and kids were going to run around and get dirty and do tick checks? Well, hmm that was ONE vision...
Okay, so remember how I said I bought some land in the woods and was building a house? And I was going to have a big garden and a big freezer and my dogs and kids were going to run around and get dirty and do tick checks? Well, hmm that was ONE vision...
Then last week we found a house in the city (Providence) for the right price – and we put in an offer. So now we are going to envision ourselves as urban. Walking my kids to the playground, driving less, not needing two cars, getting culture, socializing.
How is it possible that we (the infamous hubs and I) can want these two polar opposites? How can we be country mice and city mice? Don't we have to choose? Aren't we crazy to switch tracks in ONE WEEK? Is this irresponsible? Impulsive?
I usually won't even go to the grocery store without planning, is this my version of spontaneity? Was just having a baby not enough?
Well, I tend to reflect upon my decisions by how they make me feel. And this house makes me feel like a ROCKSTAR. Seriously, the weight of building (yes, totally and awesome project that WILL happen at some point) is OFF me. You mean, this house is FINISHED and I can MOVE RIGHT in? Oh my beautiful deity, whoever you are, thank you thank you.
<Insert IMMENSE gratitude here>
So, it's 180 and this isn't twister. Its a turn towards simplicity, ease, and the creation of space. I want time to love my kids, I want time to build my business, time to write, time to love my husband, time to grow. So don't judge my speed, commend my values instead. And keep your fingers crossed we get yet another mortgage.
When we do, come over for dinner, won't you?
So you like it? Try these:
Because I'm Stuck and I Suck. 3 Ways to UNSTICK and Feel Less Sucky.
But as per my usual style, I bit off quite a lot and then added a whole extra heap on top of that. And every time I carve out time for working on these sessions I AM STUCK. That's right. Writer's block. Idea freeze. Brain mush. Major distraction. Thoughtless. Sleepy. Confused. STUCK. Like seriously-cannot-take-one-step-further STUCK.
I am supposed to launch a whole series of these 30 minutes to... sessions in the END OF SEPTEMBER. Who planned this? (I did. Oops).
Well, supposed to because I decided I would as part of my GRAND MASTER PLAN. Well, and also because I have some people waiting patiently to sign up for them.
But as per my usual style, I bit off quite a lot and then added a whole extra heap on top of that. And every time I carve out time for working on these sessions I AM STUCK. That's right. Writer's block. Idea freeze. Brain mush. Major distraction. Thoughtless. Sleepy. Confused. STUCK. Like seriously-cannot-take-one-step-further STUCK.
Oh woe-is-me. This isn't supposed to happen to me. Yeah, right. I am perfect. If I get stuck, then how am I supposed to UNSTICK others. Hello! Experience! Self doubt, self doubt, insert a whole bunch of self doubt here. Which, of course, makes it more sticky!
So, what do I do? I back out gently. I look over my shoulder. I stop channeling the self doubt fairy. I stop questioning. I just stop and step backwards out of the hole. Or just away from the hole. Or just to the other side of the hole. You know the feeling when you are digging yourself deeper. Can you be brave enough to stop pushing against a boulder? Can you respect yourself enough to back the fuck up?
So here's me. Stuck and spiraling with it. And here is what I did. And here's where I am now:
1) REALIZE YOU ARE STUCK. You might say it out loud, "whoops, there I go, beating a dead horse." Or just write it out. Admit it. I AM STUCK. Then stop there – don't ask why, don't ask how to unstick. Just NOTE it. I am stuck. Then shrug. And for fuck's sake don't start analyzing. That's probably how you got here in the first place! OVERTHINK much?
2) BACK OUT / TIME OUT. You are not gonna write these session descriptions right now, Hannah. Your attitude is piss poor and inefficient. Go fold the laundry. Go have a snack. Go do ANYTHING ELSE. Meditation would be good. While you are doing that thing, please don't think that YOU SHOULD BE WRITING THOSE SESSION DESCRIPTIONS. Back out of the task that got you here in the first place. Take a shower. You suck at this right now, and that's okay
3) RE-ENTER. HEAD OPPOSITE. Whatever you were doing, it wasn't working. So, approach it from the other direction. I was feeling uninspired and time pressured to launch these sessions. So I ran harder, like a bull at the deadline. Aaaand, that didn't work. So, (after my realization of my stuckness and backing out of the task) I decided to do the opposite. I'd launch these for yearend, not the end of September. When I felt like rushing, I'd go slower. So, if you are feeling slow – do the opposite and set a deadline and rush towards it. What's the harm in trying a 180? You just might find that the opposite approach gets you to the same goal. Once I let off the pressure, the inspiration and joy began to flow back into my session descriptions. I am so excited to share them with you soon, but not as soon as I thought :)
So now, I am feeling good. I am unstuck and I don't suck. Try it for yourself. Suck-less and flow. I believe in you!
Enjoying my potty mouth? You might like some of these posts too:
I Miss, I Miss, I Miss (Because Being Self Employed is not ALWAYS the Bomb)
I miss high heels (I work from home you see).
I miss the water cooler (cold, free-to-me crisp water, anytime).
I miss being the right temperature for a man in a suit jacket (and stashing sweaters under my desk).
I miss tech support (calling them, not being them).
I miss take out for lunch (because I'm lazy).
I miss high heels (I work from home you see).
I miss the water cooler (cold, free-to-me crisp water, anytime).
I miss being the right temperature for a man in a suit jacket (and stashing sweaters under my desk).
I miss tech support (calling them, not being them).
I miss take out for lunch (because I'm lazy).
I miss commuting (mmm, forced time and space).
I miss direct deposit (weekly, biweekly, whatever).
I miss thinking it's not my problem (these days, it always is).'
I miss coworkers (even the nasty ones, I swear).
I miss weekends (WTF are those?)
I miss paid time off, and sick days and subsidized heath insurance (seriously, they pay you to not work AND stay healthy).
I miss sexy underwear (seriously, what's the point?)
I miss corporate credit cards (someone else pays for something!)
I miss elevators (okay, maybe not so much).
I miss empty trash cans (every morning, yo! Trash be gone like magic! And that shit is vacuumed too!)
I guess what i am saying is this so over said, but under appreciated thought, thanks Joni.
“Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”
And also, how can I make sexy underwear, ice water and vacations a bigger part of my life?
So for all of you "I-still-have-a-9-5-and-I-resent-it" this post is for you. Breathe in the goodness and get your creative off on the side.